Thor and Peace

I'm worried that I've lost points on my geek card. I didn't get a chance to see Thor in the theaters. I didn't get to see Captain America in the theaters either. (Bought a blue '08 Dodge Avenger and named it Captain American though. Might be able to save some geek points on that one.) But I have been watching Disney XD's Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

I've learned a few things from Thor on that show. In the comic books, (and movie I'm told) Thor is cast out of Asgard (the home of the Norse gods) and sent to Midgard (earth) because he is cocky, stubborn and arrogant. And he is cast out of heaven and sent to live amongst the mortals to learn humility and the need to put others first.

But Thor in Disney XD's version is different. He values honor. He also has a heart for the people of Midgard. He wishes to protect them. He wishes to help them. In fact, he voluntarily leaves Asgard when asked to stay behind during Odin's yearly Odin Sleep. He refuses and goes to Midgard to battle and protect. Yes, he's a bit misguided. yes, he's a bit arrogant about it. But still he wants to do his best to help others.

I like that about him. And honestly, I try to do the same, of course with out Mjölnir of course (his hammer). I also try hard to push forward and to help and to do what I can. I have a great heart for the people out there in need of help. It's not a messiah complex or anything. I'm not out to save the people. But I want to make a dent to help those in need. Those who are hurting. Those who are struggling. Those who are in pain and can use the healing found in the Great Physician Jesus. (This is a Spiritual Sci-Fi Friday, remember). And I push hard. I give my all and I still falter.

The one thing about Thor is that he realized that he needed help too. In the Disney XD version, he sees that he needs to team up with others to fight off the baddies. And this leads to the formation of The Avengers (Wasp suggests that name because to her, it just sounds cool.). Alone, the Avengers can do okay. But together, they can do so much more.

And I have to remind myself of that. I'm not at this alone. There are others with me. There are others who are able to work with me to help those in need. Not only that, but in The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, the teammates help each other out personally. They encourage one another, they have fun with one another. They have each other's backs. And we all need this for our own spiritual, emotional and physical well being. We all need a team of people to help us, encourage us and fight the good fight with us.

I have that team with me here at my church I serve. I also have that team with me with my good friends all over the place. We encourage and help one another.

What's your team? Who encourages, supports and fights the fight with you?

The Epic Battle that Never Was

I'm ill. I've had this blasted walking pneumonia so long that I don't need spell check to help me spell pneumonia (and for a dyslexic that's pretty long). I keep getting told that I need to rest to get better. But I need to get work done. And of course, I get myself all outta breath and then can't do nothing.

And then I think of Indiana Jones. Well, more like Harrison Ford to tell the truth. And not in that way. Dude. No, during the filming of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indy is running through Cairo and comes upon a dude with a sword who does all the cool sword moves. Indy on the other hand, just finished running for his life and quite in a foul mood, pulls out his gun and shows the guy.


Now, there's a story behind that. Apparently Harrison Ford was quite ill that day. But they were on a very tight schedule. In a moment of improv, he just shot the guy and kept going. This has become one of the most classic scenes in the movie.

Since I've been sick, I've hardly been able to work out or exercise. Before I knew I had this blasted walking pneumonia, I was trying to go at my heavy bag and do some basic calisthenics to stay in shape because I was so busy. But I'd get outta breath real quick like. And then I was told by the doc to rest and not push it.

So, I've been improvising. I've been doing what the doc has told me to and to stick to drinking lots of liquids. But I've also stuck to the Weight Watchers (for Men) very tightly. And I've been resting. And I've been getting better. Yet I also know that I can't push myself too hard because Friday I felt better so I went for a walk and that made things worse.

So, I'm thinking WWID (What would Indy Do?) of course, it'd be more like Harrison Ford but of course that wouldn't make sense either.

But I've also been using this free time to read through my Bible and stay in prayer. A healthy body needs a healthy spirit to keep it going. So, I'm making sure I'm focusing on my spiritual health as much as I am on my physical health. And with this free time, It's been helpful. I've spent a lot of time in prayer these last few days. Now I just hope I can get this blasted pneumonia kicked and get moving on with things.

Don't Even Blink

What is fear? It's worrying about the unknown. It's not wanting to take steps forward because you don't know what will happen if you make the decision. It's being worried that as soon as you blink that angel in the corner who looks like it is weeping will attack you and steal all your potential life energy sending you decades into the past.

Okay, that last one is a reference to the totally freaky Weeping Angels from Dr. Who. The weeping angels are an alien race who only exist outside of recognition. If they are being looked at they do not exist. And so, they instead are stone statues who are non-existent. But as soon as you look away, as soon as you blink, the move and move quickly. This Dr. Who monster taps into that fear of what you see out of the corner of your eye. This monster taps into that fear of the unknown and the unseen.

Not only that, but this monster doesn't just take your life, it takes what you could have been. If you were to live for 80 more years, then this monster kills you by sending you back 80 years in the past and living off of what you would have been 80 years in the future. This monster taps into the fear we have about what we want to be and what we could be and eats it up.

Fear can make us do one of two things: 1) Runaway in abject terror trying to find your happy place or 2) use that fear to fuel you into action. The weeping angels forces you to focus. To focus on the fear and not let it over take you. To focus on what makes you want to flee in terror and instead stand firm, staring it down. With the weeping angels, you have to face your fears or die.

To be healthy, to be physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy, you need to face your fears. To stare them down and allow them to fuel you in moving forward.

You have a fear of failure and so you don't try to exercise. You have a fear of failure and so you don't pursue that relationship with someone you care about. You fear failure and don't even want to try to enter into God's presence. You fear rejection and don't want to even approach God through Christ. If everyone else has rejected you so will God you think. Or you fear rejection of family and friends as you step forward in faith to serve.

To run away from fear is to allow fear to win. You become a traitor to yourself, turning from what will benefit you and running away. Turn fear into a tool to allow you to step forward in faith, to step forward in making yourself healthier, to make yourself grow in the Spirit, to make yourself Grow in the knowledge of Jesus and God. To make yourself healthier mind, body and soul.

I am...an ambassador

One of my favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation is the two parter "Unification." This is the episode where rumor has it Spock (yes, THE pSock) has defected to the Romulans. Picard and Data go in a covert operation to find out if this is true.

It's odd what memories you have concerning your childhood. When we heard that this episode was coming up, we threw a party. My dad, step-mom, Trekkies and us little nerdlings all came together to watch these episodes. Why? Because Spock was coming back! And he wasn't just coming back as any ol' Spock, he was now Ambassador Spock. Ambassador for the United Federation of Planets. Ambassador for his home planet of Vulcan.

And what was it Spock wanted to do? Something amazing! He wanted to unite the Romulans and the Vulcans. They were once one but they separated and went their different directions a millennium ago. He came in peace to bring peace by preaching a message of this peace.

Now what does this have to do with anything? Good question. A lot. Did you know that if you're a Christian, you're also an ambassador?

We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. ^God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:20-21

That puts us on the same level as Spock. It's a completely new name. And I know Spock's been called a number of them over the years, good and bad. And with most of them, Spock's not impressed. But as an ambassador, there's nothing more that he would want to do. He knows who he is regardless of what may come.

I've blogged (is that verb now?) over and over again, knowing who you are is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. Spock knew with assurance that as an ambassador, he was a representative who came to bring peace to two warring peoples.

There's another person like that as well. A man named Paul who called himself an ambassador in chains because he was constantly arrested. He too knew who he was and what he was called.

So, what's your name?

What're you called?

We can go through life fleeting from one thing to the next. We can get our britches in a twist when we do that, you know. If we're just running back and forth trying to figure it out, then we're like a star ship tossed in the eddies of space.

Do you want to be an ambassador? Do you want to be someone who brings this message of peace--a peace with God and with others? This is one of the greatest new names you might ever receive.

What is your name?

I am...precious in His sight

What's your name?

No, not the one your parent's gave you, but the one your friends gave you. The one your enemies gave you. The one those cheerleaders who never actually let you into your group and teased the snot out of you gave you. Yeah. That name. The name you get called when you and your friends are hanging out--"Knothead" "Numbn...ts" "Fartknocker." What about the names your enemies have given you--"Skank" (that word that rhymes with "witch"), "Jerk" "Weirdo."

Those are the names that stick with us from childhood to junior high to high school. These are the names that hit us at the wrong moments when we hear a compliment or someone trying to be supportive. Even though they are being nice and kind, even though they are trying to be encouraging, you still, in the back of your mind hear those words.

Oh, those blasted frakin' awful words that hurt like sticks and stones. Names will hurt us. They hurt us worse than them sticks and stones which break our bones. And even when we're rubber and they're glue, the names still stick to us and not to you.

And then, when we look in the mirror first thing in the morning, we feel sorry for the mirror. Even our reflection's muttering things under their breathe. We see every blackhead, every zit, every gray hair, every bag under our eyes. We see the cylon underneath our skin and we don't like it at all (okay, that might be reserved for a Spiritual Sci-Fi Friday. Ask a fellow a geek for help on that one..it's from the rebooted BSG).

How many times have we said to the mirror in our bathrooms first thing in the morning "Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all." And we hope, we dream, we pray that it's us and the mirror responds with a snap and a head twist "Sure ain't you honey."

That's our view of ourselves.

But then we're hear God's view of us

But now this is what the Lord says--"He who created you...He who formed you...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine...for I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:1 & 3

He has a different name for you. He has a name beyond names--you are precious in his sight. You are beautiful to him. You are His.

Now, will you take his hand? Will you allow him to call you precious?

I am...forgiven

What do you call yourself?

What's your name?

They say that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. But if you call it a stink weed would it still have the same idea of smelling sweet?

So many times, we call ourselves by what we've done and what we do. But there are other times where we see ourselves by what we wish we hadn't done. Is that a bit too philosophical and out there? Probably. Sorry.

What's I'm trying to say is that when it comes to being healthy--physically, emotionally and spiritually--we need to also look at forgiveness.

It's so hard to forgive I think. It's hard for our bodies sometimes to forgive us for putting it through a hard workout. It's hard sometimes to forgive others when they've put us through hard times. It's hard sometimes for us to forgive ourselves because of our own body image. erg.. again.. philosophical.

Let me try this again...

you ever just want to beat somebody upside the head with a baseball bat because of what they said to you? yeah. That feeling. It'd be great to do that sometimes I think. But we can't. It wouldn't be too good to do something like that. And it's even harder to forgive them. And you know what, somewhere out there there's someone who wants to do the exact same thing to you because of something you might have said or done did to them.

Now, take a step back, put down the baseball bat and think this through. Do you want to be called forgiven? Forgiven from what you've done to others, forgiven for what you'd like to do with the baseball bat? No, seriously, put down the bat.

Forgiveness is a two way street. God is willing to forgive us but sometimes we need to be willing to forgive God. Sounds weird. I know. But it's true. Sometimes you might just want to take that baseball bat to God, huh? Put it down.

We also need to forgive others for what they've done to us. And we need to seek forgiveness from those we might have hurt and who want to take a baseball bat to us.

So, why is it healthy to forgive? Dude, so much to say that is too long for a blog post, that's for sure. But in short, a lack of forgiveness just builds up in us. And when it gets too big, we just want to act out that frustration on something, someone. And this can come out through a workout, through going at it on a heavy bag, to wanting to (put it down) get a baseball bat.

Forgiving does something to us. It helps us to let it go. To not let someone or something have control over us. And to tell the truth, if you don't forgive, that anger can really build up in you.

What is your name? Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to ask forgiveness from?

Trust me, just starting down that road will lead to a better healthy life physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I am...an overcomer

What's your name?

What're you called?

What do you call yourself? Honestly, I've been called it all. Fat. Lazy. Stupid. Behemoth. Big Guy. Fatso. And that's when I was in elementary school. Some by schoolmates but some by my teachers. And I believed them too.

Later on in my life I was called other names. Stubborn. Persistent. Self Determined. Tenacious. Driven. These sounded cooler to me so I believed them too.

But none of these are the names which I like being called. There is only one name I like being called and that is one of Christian.

I have overcome a lot in the last few years. I've overcome weighing over 400lbs. I've overcome a stint in the hospital due to a bad interaction with high blood pressure meds. I've struggled through dyslexia and other learning disabilities. I've worked hard through seminary learning Hebrew and Greek. I've overcome health issues. But I still had my old names. I had what other people called me. And then I was given a new name--Over-comer.

So many things seem to get in our way when trying to do our best. So many things get in our way that keep us from being healthy--physically, emotionally and spiritually. And they seem like they'll always be in the way, stopping us from coming before God.

And then I hear these words

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

What're you called now? Is it getting in your way of, well, everything? Do you feel beaten up like that guy up there? Do you feel pushed around by things in this life?

You can be a conqueror over it all. You can be an overcomer. Heck, you can be more than an over-comer. Now what's standing in your way?

Do you want to be an overcomer? What do you need to work past? What can Jesus help you work past to be more than a conqueror, more than an overcomer?

Get your dent on

Weight is something I've struggled with all my life. Since I was a kid I've been called fat, overweight and, well, some very nasty words as well. I wore size husky in everything. Looking back on those pictures of me as a kid, I wasn't fat at all. I was big. I was tall and big for my age. People thought I was two or three years older than I really was. One teacher thought I was lying to her when I said I was never held back a grade or three.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been trying to put a dent in my weight. In high school, I looked at going into the Navy. No offense to the Navy or the rest of our armed services, but not the best for one's sense of self worth when you're told the only way you'll ever be accepted in life is to be thinner.

In college, I dropped down to my healthiest weight yet. But according to all the charts, I was still considered obese. Of course, according to the charts, to be what they want me to be I'd have to be skin and bones.

In Seminary, I struggled with a lot of school work, etc and gained way too much weight. In 2004, I started to put a dent into it. By 2010, I'd lost 100lbs (or more. When I was at my heaviest, no one had a scale that would weigh me outside of a zoo.) In December of 2010, I was up 15 pounds. In February, I was up 20. In May, I was up 30 and rising.

I decided it was time to put a dent in it again. Step by step. Minute by minute. And today, I've lost 5lbs since I started.

One of the things that's been helpful for me has been encouragement from friends and family. It's also been coming back to listening to or reading God's word. I know, I know, so cliche, but honestly, this blog is called Spiritual Musclehead (or as I like to say, come for the zombies, stay for Jesus).

We're so fearfully and wonderfully made. Our physical health affects our emotional/mental and spiritual health. Our emotional/mental health affects our spiritual and physical health and our spiritual health does the same.

And so I trudge on. Sometimes I really don't want to eat that apple. But with zero points for an apple vs a candy bar, well, I'm gonna be stingy and go for that. I don't always want to take that time to read or to pray but I know it's needed for my own health and journey. Other times, I so look forward to it all. I so look forward to eating something good and healthy (I know, scary , huh?).

It's amazing what God can truly do.

What are you doing to keep healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually?

A perfect storm of awesome

So, I've been getting back to the gym. I've also started Weight Watchers recently and they have a good app for counting points (so not getting into the whole points system, all I know is that my favorite burger at Hardee's is like 30 something points and so I have the BBQ Ranch Turkey burger which is 12). Now, this being said, I'm trying hard not to talk too much about Weight Watchers because it even annoys me sometimes.

But now about the perfect storm of awesome. There's an app for that. Literally. Back when I had an Android LG Ally, I downloaded the sweetness of workout apps from JEFIT. I mean, it rocked. Then I left my cell on top of the car and picked up the pieces later that day along HWY 44. I joined the crowd of Apple Zombies and got an iPhone as a replacement. But no JEFIT app.

One thing I could do though was watch podcasts from LIfechurch.TV while doing cardio on the bike at the gym. Then I added the Weight Watchers app. And then (cue the "Hallelujah" chorus) JEFIT released their app on the iPhone. This week has been a heaven of pain and joy. Why? This week alone, I've lost 5 pounds by following the Weight Watchers app, been getting my lifting/workout routine going with the JEFIT app and getting spiritually fed (which is hard as a pastor sometimes, I don't always get to hear others preach) while doing cardio.

That being said, wow, perfect storm of awesome this week for that. I'm working spiritual health and there's an app for that. No, seriously. The Today daily devotional is on the iPhone and also Android. Great way to do a short devotional in the morning. And then there's the Youversion Bible app. I've been listening to their audio Bible while doing long drives for hospital visits out this way (pretty much any drive is a long one in South Dakota).

What other apps are out there to help in your journey?

Rediscovering

Dude. I'm rediscovering the awesomeness of an apple. Weird huh? I know. But they're all like crunchy and then sweet and portable. I mean.. dude, it's actually good. When did fruit start tasting so good? Maybe it's the fact that they're worth 0 points on Weight Watchers (For men, gotta emphasize it's the "Weight Watchers for Men" version 'cause I'm still a dude and all that). It's the weirdest thing.

Now, I'm on my own strange journey (no, not one the Grateful Dead would sing about) of doing this. I did it on my own in my own weird way and lost weight. But now, now I need to admit I need help. And help so far has been tasting good. Beef Jerky's been 3 points for an ounce of it.. which is roughly what a regular slim jim is or Jack Links. Still trying to figure out how much burgers are that I make on the grill.

One of the biggest things I've been noticing about me is that I'm constantly checking how many points something is on my phone app (by the way, squirrel and beaver are both 1 point. Caribou bone marrow is 22, go figure). Now, this is where I'm going to Jesus Juke myself. I need to spend just as much energy on my spiritual health as well. (ohhh.. that hurt just typing it).

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." Joshua 1:8

Ouch.. okay.. yeah...I gotcha. If you thought counting points on Weight Watches was hard. Try to read through 1 & 2 Chronicles and Leviticus.

It's hard. It's tough to do. Then I recently read this

"Taste and see that the Lord is good." Psalm 34:8

Wonder how many points that'll be?

So much more in there to rediscover. And it'll be hard. Hard to try to rediscover good things. Hard sometimes to rediscover the sweetness of God's word. But taste and see. And don't be afraid.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

What might you rediscover?

Pain Hurts

"Some say pain is an illusion. Others say pants are. Pain is weakness leaving the body, pants are nakedness leaving the body. " Anonymous (for a reason I think)

I heard it in football, I heard it in weight lifting--play through the pain. No Pain, no gain. In someways, I understand. Don't let a little thing get in the way. In the playoffs last year, Cutler played on a broken leg. He played through the pain. In weight lifting, the pain or burn that you feel are the muscle fibers snapping under the strain. This snapping or breaking of the muscle fibers is what causes the muscles to grow bigger. The same is true in sports and conditioning. The harder you push, the pain hits and then you're body recovers and mends so that it can withstand what you put it through. But the body has limits too.

Pain also is a message to your body to stop. Fire hurts. Stop touching it. You're elbow doesn't bend that way. Stop. Other times, it is a sign that the body is healing itself. I had dental work done yesterday and boy howdy does it hurt like a kick in the head by a mule. But a lot of work was done on that section and now the body is healing and repairing and it frakin hurts like the dickens.

Pain isn't seen it's felt. And the signs of pain can be seen on people no matter how hard we try to hide it. There's also too much pain. There's diseases such as Fibromyalgia (a very real disease) which causes constant pain and fatigue. Other times there is cancer which can cause insurmountable pain that you have a hard time dealing with it.

Pain hurts.

So does emotional and spiritual pain. And that pain almost never is seen but it is strongly felt. We don't like to admit these types of pain. It shows that we are weak. That we can't handle things. We have a hard enough time admitting our physical pain, it's even harder to admit our emotional and spiritual pain.

Yet, we have a promise for healing those as well. And it can be tough. Tough to admit to ourselves and tough to admit to God. Yet, we hear these words

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Now, I'm not promising it all will be perfect, but there is a promise that you can make it through a lot better than you might be now. Jesus can change your attitude on how you deal with the pain.

Control how you deal with the pain don't let it control you.

What pain are you dealing with now? How can Jesus change the way you deal with it?

Dead buffalo and the life hear after

While journeying through Yellowstone today, we came across the remains of a buffalo and the tell tale evidence of a bear being nearby. I also taught my son a new word--scat. Yeah. I'm cool like that.

This actually hit my 5 year-old son somewhat hard. We had just seen (and I mean like 15-20 minutes ago) live buffalo roaming the park. And now, as we're walking a trail around a hot spring, we see the bones, fur, uneaten hooves and what-nots of a buffalo on the ground near the trail. He had a hard time trying to understand death. He felt so bad for the deceased buffalo that he almost wanted to cry.

My wife and I tried to explain to him the circle of life (which I at first called The Law of Equivalent Exchange but that might be for a Spiritual Sci-Fi Friday post). That seemed to work. And we started walking down the trail again. Then my son stopped and said "Let's pray for the buffalo" and with no prompting started "Dear God, thank you for the buffalo, please bring him back to life. I really like buffalo. Amen."

Where could I go with this? Faith like a child? This is how he is psychologically processing his new understanding of a paradigm? (yeah, I said it..paradigm... just don't pronounce it pair-a-dig 'em).

He was processing what he had heard in church and Sunday school and spoke what he heard. His idea of heaven is one of feasted upon buffalo fully alive. (For me, it'd be a an amazing southern Californian beach..maybe with a buffalo too). But he took what he had heard about death and life and applied it in the best way a five year-old could.

This was a moment of pure spiritual health at work. He was trying to take what he had learned and put it into practice. I think this is being healthy in everything we do--spiritually, emotionally and even physically (I say this as I finish up a piece of amazing peanut butter fudge from the KOA here).

Part of being healthy is not staying where you're at but allowing information you've learned from church, from spiritual mentors, from life coaches from friends and even (gasp!) parents and putting it into practice in real life situations. And seeing the results regardless of success or failure.

Wow.. I'm a bit too serious this late at night. But honestly, look for ways to have those moments where you can take what you've learned and truly apply it in your life.

Early in the morning

For some reason as of late, I've been waking up, pretty much of my own accord, early each morning. For the last two weeks I've woken up usually between 5-6:30 in the morning. At first I was annoyed. Scratch that...very annoyed. I was tired. I needed my rest. If I was going to get beauty rest I needed at least 23 hours a day to sleep. Well, maybe not that much.

But still.

Have you had this? It's that frustrating moment when you wake up, check your cell phone for the time and the want to curse the night because it's way stinking early and you're wide awake. It's at that moment where I pause and wonder "Do I attempt to go back to sleep and most likely toss and turn and finally fall asleep only to have to wake up or just make a pot of coffee?" I've started opting for the coffee.

It's turned out to be a blessing for me. I've started having that quiet time for myself. I've found it easier to focus in my prayers and devotions (though I still think my new ADD meds are helping too). I've also found it easier to go to the gym. In fact, I've been going on a more regular basis since coming out this way.

In fact, the picture above was taken one morning as I was going to the gym. I had woken up early and it was one of the earlier days where I wondered if I should go back to bed or make coffee. I had made coffee, read my Bible, prayed and then left for the gym. As I was getting into the pick-up, I saw this and had to take a picture.

The words from that old hymn came to my mind

Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty! Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee.

What was thought to be a frustration and I was about to even call it a blasted curse, has become helpful.

(Warning: gonna get all spiritual here) Once I stopped fighting my body and listened to it, I think I actually started more so listening to the Holy Spirit moving me to wake up early. Now, if you are waking up a lot in the night, it might be insomnia. And I know I can get fits of insomnia. But I know that right now, God is even using that for his glory to help me draw closer to him and to work on my own health--spiritually, emotionally and physically.

What about you? What is a frustration (or even a curse) that you might ask how God might be able to use it for His glory and to help you grow?

The Maquis 6

I still find it interesting that a German TV news program actually some how mistook a Photoshopped picture of a Star Trek emblem of a fictional terrorist group for the real Navy SEAL emblem. It used to be "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." But in this case it's "fool me once and-it's-posted-all-over-the-internet-and-shown-on-the-FOX-news-website" Of course, you can tell that it's pretty menacing with the bat'leths surrounding the skull of a Klingon. Totally looks like a Navy SEAL emblem of the 21st Century and not of the 23rd.

But, hey, it's what they were looking for, wasn't it? I mean, they were looking for a menacing emblem that showed the strength, veracity and honor that the Navy SEALS are known for. So, some geek with Photoshop know-how put this together and while looking for something, they found this. It was what they were looking for. And they found it.

The same is true in health. I'm struggling with this myself. If I'm looking for it, I'll find it eventually. If I'm looking for nothing, if I'm looking for a no guidance, if I'm looking for no reason to lift, then I'll find it each time. If I'm looking for something that'll make me loose ten pounds in a week and will make me look like those people on the TV and I find the miracle product that does it all, of course I'm going to get it. It's the answer to what I'm looking for.

Paul says it really nicely

For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 1 Timothy 4:3

Are you turning towards the things that'll answer what you want to hear? Or are you seeking answers from somewhere that'll tell you the truth even if you don't want to hear it? What's your goal? Where do you want to go form here?

I like how Craig Groeschel says it in his book Chawzon, "Everyone will wind up somewhere but not everyone will get there on purpose."

What are you seeking? Is it to get ripped and look all cool this summer? Then forget it. Go to a different blog. Are you looking to be healthy because it's important to you? Then keep reading. I'm going to fail. I have failed at times. But I keep getting back up and moving forward. How's that Cake song go?

Because he's racing and pacing and plotting the course, He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse. He's going the distance.

Where are you going? What are you searching for? Don't just listen to anyone, especially those who tell you what you want to hear. Listen to what the truth is and follow the Truth towards what is right and healthy. I'm still working on it.

My own worst frenemy

To tell the truth, I'm my own worst critic. I'm too hard on myself. And when I start saying that, I start to reassure myself saying platitudes like "It's okay, you're doing your best" or "things are tough right, chillax and don't be too hard on yourself." And then I hit back, "Yeah, well, I was much thinner a year ago right now and even four months ago I was curling more and benching more than I am now." This conversation usually happens in my head at the wrong times. Like when I'm trying to sleep and I just want to yell out "Will you two just knock it off!" Of course, when that third voice pops up, I start to worry about my own sanity.

I've been beating myself up lately to tell the truth. And some of it is good and some of it isn't. Last week, I took an honest look at myself and saw how my faith walk was being affected by how I was coping with stress. But I also resolved to fight against it. It was becoming a stumbling block for me and that ain't good at all.

My resolve has picked up and I’ve been once again faithful to hitting the weights and doing cardio. I’ve been fighting the urge to snack and that is so hard. I’ve learned to ask myself “Am I really hungry or am I just wanting to fill that void that’s there right now because I’m stressed?” And that’s a hard question to ask mainly because I know the answer. It’s hard.

And so, this morning, I decided to once again take an honest assessment of myself. I hadn’t measured myself since March 25. I was frustrated with myself. My gut gained 2 inches as did the rest of me. My biceps were good but other than that, I wasn’t where I had been in January or February. So I stopped checking in on myself to see my progress. So, this morning, I bit the bullet and did a reality check. Where was I? I had been struggling and enjoying too much Easter candy. I was worried I’d bloated out more Marlon Brando. I was shocked. I was roughly where I had been in March. Either I had been maintaining or I’ve dropped back down to where I was.

I was beating myself up negatively. In my honest assessment of myself, I realized that there were things to change and so I began working on that. But I also saw that I had to stop being my own worst frenemy. It was hurting me. I’m rubber you’re glue just doesn’t work when you’re picking on yourself.

What about you? Where have you been beating yourself up and where do you need to do an honest assessment of yourself—physically, emotionally spiritually?

Being a Glue-Tawn

I recently read a blog post about the Seven Deadly Dwarfs...I mean Sins. To sum it up (spoiler alert) the blogger stated that the sin of gluttony is usually ranked last while lust is usually ranked first. To tell the truth, usually when we might begin discussing the sin of gluttony it's usually over dinner at The Cheesecake Factory and not after reading one of those blog posts on Yahoo! health of Eat This, Not That.

At the gym today, I came to the realization that I needed to confess to God my sin of gluttony. It's been a hard last few months. Back in March, I wrote about my struggle with anxiety and stress and how I dealt with it. This was especially so because of the circumstances that I was in. (You can check out that post here). I had been covering up the cracks of pain with Pilsbury Chocolate Frosting, using it as a mortar to try to build something substantial to hold me together. 10lbs later, I'm realizing that's not a good idea. It started innocently enough, but now that my stomach hurts from my pants cutting into it as I sit down to write this, I realize how vicious gluttony truly is.

The pictures above, to the left and below are from the manga inspired Anime show called Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. (warning: The show does have violence, serious topics and language in it)Part of the premise of the show is that the seven deadly sins are personified in creatures called homunculi. Way too much backstory to get into right now. But suffice it to say that the Seven Deadly Sins live up to their names. The character Gluttony is a tragic figure.

He is so innocently evil. He has an all consuming never ending hunger and just wishes to eat. He is vicious but is so innocent at the same time. (Spoiler alert) It's hard not to feel sorry for him later on in the series when he dies. He is evil and is all consuming and in the end, he is consumed by a fellow homunculus. His final cries stick with you. He is so trusting of his fellow sins and is shocked when he is destroyed. It is a sad ending to a vicious sin.

The problem I've found with gluttony in my life is that it truly is innocently evil. It truly is all consuming. I've learned that I am a compulsive eater. But why is that considered a deadly sin? Each of the Seven Deadly Dwarfs...I mean Sins deals with something that in moderation and with limitations generally fuels our base instincts. Yet when it becomes the center piece of our very existence, it pushes Christ from our center and forces us to focus on something else instead for our only comfort in life and in death. For me, it became food. And it is still all consuming. It still is a struggle.

Is food itself bad? No. Is loving delicious foods and enjoying their flavor bad? No. But allowing it become my comfort in times of need isn't good and that is shown in my waist line as of yet.

So I push on. The last two weeks I've done straight cardio and am once again hitting the weights. Slowly but surely I will consume gluttony with health. I hope I might be able to create newer habits of dealing with my stress.

How about you? Has a coping method become something more consuming that it ought? How have you dealt with it?

Training against disapointment like Rocky IV--A Lenten Meditation

After musing over my post on the X-Men and looking at things from different perspectives and rebooting new ways of looking at Jesus and life, I started to wonder what else I could reboot and relook at. Besides writing run-on sentences that is.

A little while back, I wrote about dealing with disappointment. I had purchased a weight lifting book I was really looking forward to reading over. I was disappointed by the exercises and routines they had in it. It wasn't what I was looking for. I tossed the book aside and let it be.

Over the last few weeks, I've been very busy. I haven't had time to hit the gym and that's been hard. Hitting the gym has been one of the best ways for me to recharge, refocus and to refresh myself. Hitting the gym helps me to keep on keeping on in many ways.

I've also missed my bag. My heavy bag. My heavy punching bag. I've had that thing since 2003. When my office was in the basement of our place while in Seminary, it hung next to my desk and helped me through Hebrew. That thing hasn't been hung up since we moved. No place to hang it safely.

The workout book I bought has a routine for those who are training for boxing. And I needed bands to use. I thought about it and finally bought some bands. I also found a way to safely hang my bag from a tree in the back yard.

I'm not so disappointed in that book now. My abs hurt, my arms are sore. And I got a chance to wail on my bag for the first time in a while.

After I was done, I began to think about something Paul said. He was a sports nut and used sports illustrations a lot. He made a boxing reference in 1st Corinthians

Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:26-27

Reading through this verse again after hitting my bag and doing those exercises got me thinking about that scene from Rocky IV

I'm wondering why disappointment stopped me? Why didn't I fight through it like I've done before? But once I fought through it, I saw the benefit of it.

One of the things that always got me about that montage from Rocky IV is the fact that he's not training aimlessly. He's going towards the goal. Granted, his goal is a very young and buff Dalph Lundren, but still, he's training towards the goal. For Rocky Balboa, Failure was not an option, it was a necessity. It was his failure, it was Apollo's failure, that led him to train harder. To not just train to shadow box, not just train to fight, but to train to win.

Esater's so close I can almost taste the Reese's peanut butter eggs (or it might be the ones I hid from the kiddos for their Easter baskets). Easter is the second time in the year you hear the most about Jesus. And it's the second time of the year that people tell me about their disappointment in him. But they don't get all Rocky IV on it. They walk away. If you do that, then the spiritual-communist-Dalph-Lundren-Characters win. And that ain't good.

Disappointment's always going to be there. It's going to be in my life at other points. Not just in books, but in myself and in what I do. It'll always be there. And so will Jesus. He'll always be there for me. This is a fight to be healthy physically, emotionally and most importantly, spiritually. I know it's going to be hard at times. I know I'm going to get disappointed at times. But I'm going to get all Rocky IV in my faith, for I'm going to train to win the prize and not shadowbox!

That blasted cat in the cradle song

My 5 year-old son has been begging me for some "boy time." Just time with him and daddy. And I so want to. I really do. But I've been busy. Real busy. Since my wife's car accident, I've been trying hard to do double duty. I hardly have enough time to go to the gym. And I struggle with it. I so want to spend time with my son. And I know he desperately wants to spend time with me. Even coming into my office, grabbing my arm and pleading with me to do something with him. To help him ride his bike, to play lightsabers with him, to race Hot Wheels, something.

Then, the other day, he wanted to play. I was busy. He started playing with a neighbor boy. And then he and the neighbor boy went to play. As I watched my son walk down the street, he kept looking back at me with a smile that said he was afraid of going away from me but excited to play with a new friend. As he walked away, the song The Cats in the Cradle started playing in my mind (not the one from the 60's but Ugly Kid Joe's version)



Yesterday again, he wanted boy time. So, he and I cleaned up the kitchen. He helped unload the dishwasher and helped wipe off the kitchen table. We then split an apple fritter. I sat there, with my coffee and my half of the fritter and we talked, at least, the best type of conversation a dad can have with his 5 year-old.

During our conversation, he told me how it was interesting that a his skin moved by his eyes when he chewed. I told him it was his muscles in his face moving. "Muscles?" his eyes lit up. So we went on Google and looked up facial muscles. He wanted to know more. So I pulled out Strength Training Anatomy by Frederic Delavier and showed my son the other muscles in the body. He was enthralled. I showed him the different muscles in the body, how the moved, how they worked. It was the most amazing thing to him. A whole new way of looking at things.

Part of my health journey, and part of his as well, is that we are healthy emotionally. That healthy emotional father/son bond that's so needed for him (and I know for me). That father/son bond that helps my son know what it means to be accepted, valued and most of all to be a man of God. And I so want to teach my son how to be a good solid man of God, a devout follower of Jesus Christ. And I know I'm going to fail, I know it's going to be hard. But I'm trying to teach him and show him what's important in life. I'm trying to help develop his own interests whether he's growin up geek or falls in love with rebuilding cars (maybe he can work on my pick-up).

Whatever he chooses, I'll support him. I just hope he remembers and cherishes what "boy time" we do have together like I do.

The cry of the catawampus

I'm a Christian. I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. And I learned a song as a kid that went "I got the joy joy joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart." And as a child, I was taught that we were to be happy. If we were happy, then that meant Jesus was with us. If I wasn't happy, then something was wrong with me. I didn't have enough faith, I wasn't praying right. And then my parents separated. I prayed and prayed and prayed. And nothing. No Hollywood ending. No remorse and reconciliation. And so I endured a time of rebellion, of anger, of tears, or struggles and down right mad at all things including God himself.

And then I found Christ. I gave my life to him. I made him ruler of my life. And did I become happy? Nope. My life still stank at times. It was still a struggle. And then things got better. Now I was happy. Now I could see the blessings of God. Now I knew he was active. Then, in 2000 I started getting depressed. I ballooned up to over 400lbs. The scale at the college health center couldn't even weigh me. It stopped at 400lbs.

I came across Psalm 13

How long, O Lord, will you forget me? Forever? (my translation)

And Psalm 6

O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint

And Psalm 88

O Lord, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you.

These are not the happy words of the Bible I was told I had to believe. These were words of pain, of agony, of worry. These were the words I was screaming. I screamed them as my parents separated and divorced. I screamed them as I was angry at the world for the lot I was given.

We are connected mind body and soul. We are connected physically, emotionally and spiritually. When one hurts, they all hurts. Part of being healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually is to be honest with who we are. With what we feel. So many times we sing that song "I've got the joy joy joy down in my heart" so many times, trying to force our selves to truly believe it when instead our whole life at that moment is catawampus and we don't know which end is up. And so many times when this happens we can lose focus.

I know for me when my wife was in her car accident, I started to loose focus on my health. I've prayed more than ever, I've pushed harder than ever and I've eaten more chocolate Pillsbury frosting than ever. By the spoon full. And this ain't good. Not good at all.

A year ago or so, I came across this song. I stopped the car and cried.



I keep thinking of these words from the prophet Habbakkuk. Back in November, I did a series from the book. I took the idea from Lifechurch.TV. You can see their version here.

With all that was going on for Habakkuk, he declares

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, and though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET will I rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior. Habakkuk 3:17-18

And so, in the thick of it all, in my desire to get back on track. In my desire to get into the groove once again of being healthy physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I strive forward. Knowing that despite it all, I will rejoice in the Lord.

Nehemiah 8:10

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength

And I push on towards the goal. I dray my strength from the Joy of the Lord, not my own joy, not my own happiness, but the joy knowing that I have a faithful savior who purchased me with his precious blood saving me from the tyranny of the Devil. I know for certain that I can rest in him.

It's tough. But I know I can do it.

Oh, and I gave up frosting for Lent.

One year and 20lbs later

It's been a year. I've been attempting this blogging thing for a year. You'd think that the progress I had made at this time last year, I'd be all covered with muscles by now. Or at least that's what I had thought. Last year around this time I was within moments of reaching my weight loss goal. In fact, I surpassed it by May.

And then I gained 30lbs.

Lost 10lbs...then gained some back.

Yeah.

But along the way, I learned much about myself, about what I don't know, and the importance of being healthy regardless of the awesomeness that would have been my biceps.

Last year, around this time, people had noticed my weight loss and how much healthier I was looking. I kept getting asked how I did it. So, I finally decided to write a blog about it. Oh, I thought I was the bees-knees on this one.

And so I wrote my first blog post. I had great dreams about what this blog would be like. And I was wrong. I struggled with what to say, how to say it, how I wold come across. Then I found the blog Stuff Christians Like. Reading it helped me see that I needed to be honest with myself in my blog, explore my own failures as well as my own successes and to look at what all made up being a Spiritual Musclehead.

I was focusing too much on the exercise part, not enough on the rest. Sometimes I look too much at the spiritual and not at the physical nor emotional. But each needs some time. Each needs attention paid to it to be healthy.

And now, a year later, there are 8 official followers (thank you all) and readership from around the world--Thank you to those in Russia, Hungary, China, Germany and US and Canada who read.

But one thing I do stick by, and I'll say it again. There is no quick fix. My secret is a simple 4 step process
1. Hard work
2. Prayer
3. Perseverance
4. Patience

I still have to remind myself of these from time to time.

How's your life going as a Spiritual Musclehead?