Thor and Peace

I'm worried that I've lost points on my geek card. I didn't get a chance to see Thor in the theaters. I didn't get to see Captain America in the theaters either. (Bought a blue '08 Dodge Avenger and named it Captain American though. Might be able to save some geek points on that one.) But I have been watching Disney XD's Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

I've learned a few things from Thor on that show. In the comic books, (and movie I'm told) Thor is cast out of Asgard (the home of the Norse gods) and sent to Midgard (earth) because he is cocky, stubborn and arrogant. And he is cast out of heaven and sent to live amongst the mortals to learn humility and the need to put others first.

But Thor in Disney XD's version is different. He values honor. He also has a heart for the people of Midgard. He wishes to protect them. He wishes to help them. In fact, he voluntarily leaves Asgard when asked to stay behind during Odin's yearly Odin Sleep. He refuses and goes to Midgard to battle and protect. Yes, he's a bit misguided. yes, he's a bit arrogant about it. But still he wants to do his best to help others.

I like that about him. And honestly, I try to do the same, of course with out Mjölnir of course (his hammer). I also try hard to push forward and to help and to do what I can. I have a great heart for the people out there in need of help. It's not a messiah complex or anything. I'm not out to save the people. But I want to make a dent to help those in need. Those who are hurting. Those who are struggling. Those who are in pain and can use the healing found in the Great Physician Jesus. (This is a Spiritual Sci-Fi Friday, remember). And I push hard. I give my all and I still falter.

The one thing about Thor is that he realized that he needed help too. In the Disney XD version, he sees that he needs to team up with others to fight off the baddies. And this leads to the formation of The Avengers (Wasp suggests that name because to her, it just sounds cool.). Alone, the Avengers can do okay. But together, they can do so much more.

And I have to remind myself of that. I'm not at this alone. There are others with me. There are others who are able to work with me to help those in need. Not only that, but in The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, the teammates help each other out personally. They encourage one another, they have fun with one another. They have each other's backs. And we all need this for our own spiritual, emotional and physical well being. We all need a team of people to help us, encourage us and fight the good fight with us.

I have that team with me here at my church I serve. I also have that team with me with my good friends all over the place. We encourage and help one another.

What's your team? Who encourages, supports and fights the fight with you?

The Epic Battle that Never Was

I'm ill. I've had this blasted walking pneumonia so long that I don't need spell check to help me spell pneumonia (and for a dyslexic that's pretty long). I keep getting told that I need to rest to get better. But I need to get work done. And of course, I get myself all outta breath and then can't do nothing.

And then I think of Indiana Jones. Well, more like Harrison Ford to tell the truth. And not in that way. Dude. No, during the filming of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indy is running through Cairo and comes upon a dude with a sword who does all the cool sword moves. Indy on the other hand, just finished running for his life and quite in a foul mood, pulls out his gun and shows the guy.


Now, there's a story behind that. Apparently Harrison Ford was quite ill that day. But they were on a very tight schedule. In a moment of improv, he just shot the guy and kept going. This has become one of the most classic scenes in the movie.

Since I've been sick, I've hardly been able to work out or exercise. Before I knew I had this blasted walking pneumonia, I was trying to go at my heavy bag and do some basic calisthenics to stay in shape because I was so busy. But I'd get outta breath real quick like. And then I was told by the doc to rest and not push it.

So, I've been improvising. I've been doing what the doc has told me to and to stick to drinking lots of liquids. But I've also stuck to the Weight Watchers (for Men) very tightly. And I've been resting. And I've been getting better. Yet I also know that I can't push myself too hard because Friday I felt better so I went for a walk and that made things worse.

So, I'm thinking WWID (What would Indy Do?) of course, it'd be more like Harrison Ford but of course that wouldn't make sense either.

But I've also been using this free time to read through my Bible and stay in prayer. A healthy body needs a healthy spirit to keep it going. So, I'm making sure I'm focusing on my spiritual health as much as I am on my physical health. And with this free time, It's been helpful. I've spent a lot of time in prayer these last few days. Now I just hope I can get this blasted pneumonia kicked and get moving on with things.

Don't Even Blink

What is fear? It's worrying about the unknown. It's not wanting to take steps forward because you don't know what will happen if you make the decision. It's being worried that as soon as you blink that angel in the corner who looks like it is weeping will attack you and steal all your potential life energy sending you decades into the past.

Okay, that last one is a reference to the totally freaky Weeping Angels from Dr. Who. The weeping angels are an alien race who only exist outside of recognition. If they are being looked at they do not exist. And so, they instead are stone statues who are non-existent. But as soon as you look away, as soon as you blink, the move and move quickly. This Dr. Who monster taps into that fear of what you see out of the corner of your eye. This monster taps into that fear of the unknown and the unseen.

Not only that, but this monster doesn't just take your life, it takes what you could have been. If you were to live for 80 more years, then this monster kills you by sending you back 80 years in the past and living off of what you would have been 80 years in the future. This monster taps into the fear we have about what we want to be and what we could be and eats it up.

Fear can make us do one of two things: 1) Runaway in abject terror trying to find your happy place or 2) use that fear to fuel you into action. The weeping angels forces you to focus. To focus on the fear and not let it over take you. To focus on what makes you want to flee in terror and instead stand firm, staring it down. With the weeping angels, you have to face your fears or die.

To be healthy, to be physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy, you need to face your fears. To stare them down and allow them to fuel you in moving forward.

You have a fear of failure and so you don't try to exercise. You have a fear of failure and so you don't pursue that relationship with someone you care about. You fear failure and don't even want to try to enter into God's presence. You fear rejection and don't want to even approach God through Christ. If everyone else has rejected you so will God you think. Or you fear rejection of family and friends as you step forward in faith to serve.

To run away from fear is to allow fear to win. You become a traitor to yourself, turning from what will benefit you and running away. Turn fear into a tool to allow you to step forward in faith, to step forward in making yourself healthier, to make yourself grow in the Spirit, to make yourself Grow in the knowledge of Jesus and God. To make yourself healthier mind, body and soul.

I am...forgiven

What do you call yourself?

What's your name?

They say that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. But if you call it a stink weed would it still have the same idea of smelling sweet?

So many times, we call ourselves by what we've done and what we do. But there are other times where we see ourselves by what we wish we hadn't done. Is that a bit too philosophical and out there? Probably. Sorry.

What's I'm trying to say is that when it comes to being healthy--physically, emotionally and spiritually--we need to also look at forgiveness.

It's so hard to forgive I think. It's hard for our bodies sometimes to forgive us for putting it through a hard workout. It's hard sometimes to forgive others when they've put us through hard times. It's hard sometimes for us to forgive ourselves because of our own body image. erg.. again.. philosophical.

Let me try this again...

you ever just want to beat somebody upside the head with a baseball bat because of what they said to you? yeah. That feeling. It'd be great to do that sometimes I think. But we can't. It wouldn't be too good to do something like that. And it's even harder to forgive them. And you know what, somewhere out there there's someone who wants to do the exact same thing to you because of something you might have said or done did to them.

Now, take a step back, put down the baseball bat and think this through. Do you want to be called forgiven? Forgiven from what you've done to others, forgiven for what you'd like to do with the baseball bat? No, seriously, put down the bat.

Forgiveness is a two way street. God is willing to forgive us but sometimes we need to be willing to forgive God. Sounds weird. I know. But it's true. Sometimes you might just want to take that baseball bat to God, huh? Put it down.

We also need to forgive others for what they've done to us. And we need to seek forgiveness from those we might have hurt and who want to take a baseball bat to us.

So, why is it healthy to forgive? Dude, so much to say that is too long for a blog post, that's for sure. But in short, a lack of forgiveness just builds up in us. And when it gets too big, we just want to act out that frustration on something, someone. And this can come out through a workout, through going at it on a heavy bag, to wanting to (put it down) get a baseball bat.

Forgiving does something to us. It helps us to let it go. To not let someone or something have control over us. And to tell the truth, if you don't forgive, that anger can really build up in you.

What is your name? Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to ask forgiveness from?

Trust me, just starting down that road will lead to a better healthy life physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Get your dent on

Weight is something I've struggled with all my life. Since I was a kid I've been called fat, overweight and, well, some very nasty words as well. I wore size husky in everything. Looking back on those pictures of me as a kid, I wasn't fat at all. I was big. I was tall and big for my age. People thought I was two or three years older than I really was. One teacher thought I was lying to her when I said I was never held back a grade or three.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been trying to put a dent in my weight. In high school, I looked at going into the Navy. No offense to the Navy or the rest of our armed services, but not the best for one's sense of self worth when you're told the only way you'll ever be accepted in life is to be thinner.

In college, I dropped down to my healthiest weight yet. But according to all the charts, I was still considered obese. Of course, according to the charts, to be what they want me to be I'd have to be skin and bones.

In Seminary, I struggled with a lot of school work, etc and gained way too much weight. In 2004, I started to put a dent into it. By 2010, I'd lost 100lbs (or more. When I was at my heaviest, no one had a scale that would weigh me outside of a zoo.) In December of 2010, I was up 15 pounds. In February, I was up 20. In May, I was up 30 and rising.

I decided it was time to put a dent in it again. Step by step. Minute by minute. And today, I've lost 5lbs since I started.

One of the things that's been helpful for me has been encouragement from friends and family. It's also been coming back to listening to or reading God's word. I know, I know, so cliche, but honestly, this blog is called Spiritual Musclehead (or as I like to say, come for the zombies, stay for Jesus).

We're so fearfully and wonderfully made. Our physical health affects our emotional/mental and spiritual health. Our emotional/mental health affects our spiritual and physical health and our spiritual health does the same.

And so I trudge on. Sometimes I really don't want to eat that apple. But with zero points for an apple vs a candy bar, well, I'm gonna be stingy and go for that. I don't always want to take that time to read or to pray but I know it's needed for my own health and journey. Other times, I so look forward to it all. I so look forward to eating something good and healthy (I know, scary , huh?).

It's amazing what God can truly do.

What are you doing to keep healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually?

Early in the morning

For some reason as of late, I've been waking up, pretty much of my own accord, early each morning. For the last two weeks I've woken up usually between 5-6:30 in the morning. At first I was annoyed. Scratch that...very annoyed. I was tired. I needed my rest. If I was going to get beauty rest I needed at least 23 hours a day to sleep. Well, maybe not that much.

But still.

Have you had this? It's that frustrating moment when you wake up, check your cell phone for the time and the want to curse the night because it's way stinking early and you're wide awake. It's at that moment where I pause and wonder "Do I attempt to go back to sleep and most likely toss and turn and finally fall asleep only to have to wake up or just make a pot of coffee?" I've started opting for the coffee.

It's turned out to be a blessing for me. I've started having that quiet time for myself. I've found it easier to focus in my prayers and devotions (though I still think my new ADD meds are helping too). I've also found it easier to go to the gym. In fact, I've been going on a more regular basis since coming out this way.

In fact, the picture above was taken one morning as I was going to the gym. I had woken up early and it was one of the earlier days where I wondered if I should go back to bed or make coffee. I had made coffee, read my Bible, prayed and then left for the gym. As I was getting into the pick-up, I saw this and had to take a picture.

The words from that old hymn came to my mind

Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty! Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee.

What was thought to be a frustration and I was about to even call it a blasted curse, has become helpful.

(Warning: gonna get all spiritual here) Once I stopped fighting my body and listened to it, I think I actually started more so listening to the Holy Spirit moving me to wake up early. Now, if you are waking up a lot in the night, it might be insomnia. And I know I can get fits of insomnia. But I know that right now, God is even using that for his glory to help me draw closer to him and to work on my own health--spiritually, emotionally and physically.

What about you? What is a frustration (or even a curse) that you might ask how God might be able to use it for His glory and to help you grow?

The cry of the catawampus

I'm a Christian. I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. And I learned a song as a kid that went "I got the joy joy joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart." And as a child, I was taught that we were to be happy. If we were happy, then that meant Jesus was with us. If I wasn't happy, then something was wrong with me. I didn't have enough faith, I wasn't praying right. And then my parents separated. I prayed and prayed and prayed. And nothing. No Hollywood ending. No remorse and reconciliation. And so I endured a time of rebellion, of anger, of tears, or struggles and down right mad at all things including God himself.

And then I found Christ. I gave my life to him. I made him ruler of my life. And did I become happy? Nope. My life still stank at times. It was still a struggle. And then things got better. Now I was happy. Now I could see the blessings of God. Now I knew he was active. Then, in 2000 I started getting depressed. I ballooned up to over 400lbs. The scale at the college health center couldn't even weigh me. It stopped at 400lbs.

I came across Psalm 13

How long, O Lord, will you forget me? Forever? (my translation)

And Psalm 6

O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint

And Psalm 88

O Lord, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you.

These are not the happy words of the Bible I was told I had to believe. These were words of pain, of agony, of worry. These were the words I was screaming. I screamed them as my parents separated and divorced. I screamed them as I was angry at the world for the lot I was given.

We are connected mind body and soul. We are connected physically, emotionally and spiritually. When one hurts, they all hurts. Part of being healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually is to be honest with who we are. With what we feel. So many times we sing that song "I've got the joy joy joy down in my heart" so many times, trying to force our selves to truly believe it when instead our whole life at that moment is catawampus and we don't know which end is up. And so many times when this happens we can lose focus.

I know for me when my wife was in her car accident, I started to loose focus on my health. I've prayed more than ever, I've pushed harder than ever and I've eaten more chocolate Pillsbury frosting than ever. By the spoon full. And this ain't good. Not good at all.

A year ago or so, I came across this song. I stopped the car and cried.



I keep thinking of these words from the prophet Habbakkuk. Back in November, I did a series from the book. I took the idea from Lifechurch.TV. You can see their version here.

With all that was going on for Habakkuk, he declares

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, and though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET will I rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior. Habakkuk 3:17-18

And so, in the thick of it all, in my desire to get back on track. In my desire to get into the groove once again of being healthy physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I strive forward. Knowing that despite it all, I will rejoice in the Lord.

Nehemiah 8:10

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength

And I push on towards the goal. I dray my strength from the Joy of the Lord, not my own joy, not my own happiness, but the joy knowing that I have a faithful savior who purchased me with his precious blood saving me from the tyranny of the Devil. I know for certain that I can rest in him.

It's tough. But I know I can do it.

Oh, and I gave up frosting for Lent.

One year and 20lbs later

It's been a year. I've been attempting this blogging thing for a year. You'd think that the progress I had made at this time last year, I'd be all covered with muscles by now. Or at least that's what I had thought. Last year around this time I was within moments of reaching my weight loss goal. In fact, I surpassed it by May.

And then I gained 30lbs.

Lost 10lbs...then gained some back.

Yeah.

But along the way, I learned much about myself, about what I don't know, and the importance of being healthy regardless of the awesomeness that would have been my biceps.

Last year, around this time, people had noticed my weight loss and how much healthier I was looking. I kept getting asked how I did it. So, I finally decided to write a blog about it. Oh, I thought I was the bees-knees on this one.

And so I wrote my first blog post. I had great dreams about what this blog would be like. And I was wrong. I struggled with what to say, how to say it, how I wold come across. Then I found the blog Stuff Christians Like. Reading it helped me see that I needed to be honest with myself in my blog, explore my own failures as well as my own successes and to look at what all made up being a Spiritual Musclehead.

I was focusing too much on the exercise part, not enough on the rest. Sometimes I look too much at the spiritual and not at the physical nor emotional. But each needs some time. Each needs attention paid to it to be healthy.

And now, a year later, there are 8 official followers (thank you all) and readership from around the world--Thank you to those in Russia, Hungary, China, Germany and US and Canada who read.

But one thing I do stick by, and I'll say it again. There is no quick fix. My secret is a simple 4 step process
1. Hard work
2. Prayer
3. Perseverance
4. Patience

I still have to remind myself of these from time to time.

How's your life going as a Spiritual Musclehead?

Giving up

Some time back I wrote a post about what I do when I get anxious--I work out, I go at it with my punching bag, I walk or I munch junk food. It's too blasted cold out right now to go for a walk, my bag is still not up and so that leaves me with two alternatives--munch or work out. Guess what I've been doing? Yeah. Not good.

Why anxiety? Well, a week and a half back my wife was in a bad car accident. God was with her. His hand kept her safe. She rear ended a snow plow going 75 miles an hour and didn't hit the breaks, at all. The car is totaled. And my wife literally got out and walked away. No bones broken. Only shaken up a bit and sore. He hands are pretty cut up right now from the glass. This last Sunday she made an observation. She said that she realized that at that moment, in between her seeing the plow and hitting it, she envisioned God's hand going between her and the snow plow. She said that she looked at her hands. The backs of her hands are cut up from the glass. She realized that God's hands were cut for her. She then thought of the nails that pierced Jesus' hands. The nails pounded into his flesh that hung him upon the cross to die for her sins. And she started crying. She was saved.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of a season called Lent. Lent is a time to focus and ponder on Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, his dying so that we may live. During this time people give things up. Why? So that they can set aside those things that entangle them and that they can focus on Christ's sacrifice for them. On those hands that were pounded through with nails, cut to save a life--the life of my wife.

And for that, I'm eternally thankful.

What will I give up so that I may focus on the great thing that was done for my wife and for myself and for my children? I haven't thought about it yet.

Maybe I should.

Exhaust Fumes

I'm tired. I'm feeling drained. I'm exhausted beyond thunderdome. And so, what do I do at 8:30 at night? I hit the gym. Now, I was smart enough not to hit the weights. Instead, I hit the bike. As I was peddling, I realized I wasn't doing as much or as intense as I usually do (which to begin with, isn't that much nor intense). And then I began to think about football.

Back in high school, I played freshman football. I think I should place "played" more in italics then anything else. I played freshman football. I was more like 5th string. Did you know, in freshman football, they try really hard to have almost everyone play at once a game. Yeah. Not me. That's how "good" I was. Towards the end of the season, I broke my ankle pretty bad. I like to tell people that I broke my ankle playing football, but truth be told, it was after practice one night. A buddy and I were tossing the football around when I broke it--bad.

How bad? I was in the hospital for about a week, bed rest for about a month, on crutches from Thanksgiving to St. Patrick's Day. I was living with my dad at the time, and he truly did his best to help. But his job was as such that he needed to be at work HOURS before I had to be at school. He couldn't keep taking time off to take me to school. So, since I lived about a mile and a half away from school, I crutched. I crutched on my crutches 1 1/2 miles each way. It was like doing constant bar dips and squats. I lost weight, I toned up. All except my left leg. It was still in a cast. My calf muscle atrophied. The muscle stopped being used and it shrunk. To this day, my left calf is smaller than my right. Always will be. Looking at my calf this evening got me to thinking about football and how things change.

But I also started thinking of something else. I started realizing that in many ways, I was not only physically exhausted but emotionally and spiritually as well. I'm tired. I felt like I might be running on fumes. And yet I press on.

An old college friend of mine is a missionary in the Philippines teaching English. In a blog post, she mentioned how she's been working on becoming spiritual healthy. And I loved hearing that. But she also ha worries to. What if when/if they come back to the States, they lose that spiritual healthiness they've obtained while in the missionary field.

To be honest, I'm worried what if I spiritually atrophy? What if I emotionally atrophy? And I'm tired. There are times where I just want to have the ref ring the bell so I can sit down, have Mickey Goldmill splash water on me, wipe off the blood, tell me how Apollo is dropping his left when he does a right hook and then send me out. Just something. Something...

And then I hear these words...

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

...just tired...gentle and humble sound nice right now. Rest for your souls sounds nice right now...so does easy and light...

Where do you need rest? Where are you exhausted right now? How can you place your burdens to Jesus?