Fear!

So many times we have fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being chased around a table by timber wolves dressed as circus clowns and all your wearing are socks and you're on a linoleum floor...okay, that's not my fear but I think it's a Far Side cartoon.

Fear can hold us back. Fear can make it possible for us not to take that step forward, not to try something, not to push ourselves a bit harder. I know for me, in weight lifting, I have a fear of hurting myself. It's a good solid fear, but I let it take too much out of me sometimes. I don't push as hard because I'm worried "what if." You know, what if I strain myself and my body's wrecked forever? What if I drop this weight on my foot and I have to lose a tow?

For me personally, fear has held me back in working out. Sometimes it's a good thing. It's not the smartest idea to try to bench press your body weight when 1)you weigh over 300lbs and b) you don't have a spotter around. That's a good fear. But at times, there's fear of not trying. Fear of not even trying a new exercise because of the what if.

don't let the what if take over. Instead, take it over yourself.

I think in many ways we're spiritually like that as well. We let our fear take over us and we're not willing to grow, we're not willing to live and we stay where we're at not moving forward at all.

I like this verse

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

So, my question is this. Will you stay with the fear, or will you allow God to work in you to let you have this spirit of power over your life, a power to love yourself and others, this power of a sound mind, a power of self discipline.

Are you willing to step forward into the unknown or are you going to stay where you're at and not let yourself grow?

Disappointment--A Lenten meditation

I'm disappointed. I recently bought a new workout book I was looking forward to. It's based off of the Strength Training Anatomy book I've been using now for the last year or so. It's called The Strength Training Anatomy Workout book. It was supposed to have various workouts for sports, for fitness training, etc. I was excited because I thought that maybe I could take some of these workout ideas for football and change up my routine a bit.

I was very disappointed with the book. Why? Well, for one, I put a lot of stock into it I think. I saw it as my savior to a new workout routine. I was ready for it. I was excited to get it. And when I opened it up and started reading it, it wasn't what I was expecting at all.

Unlike Strength Training Anatomy, this version didn't have the science and calisthenics as the other. Not only that, but most of the workouts were given to be done at home with various rubber bands. Unlike Strength Training Anatomy, it didn't give as many variations to use.

This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't what I was expecting.

As I've been preaching through our Lenten series at church, I've begun to see how many people were disappointed with Jesus. They wanted him to be something he wasn't. People wanted him to be some great conquering king. Some amazing miracle worker who could make all things new. Yet, he came for one reason only--to die on the cross. He died upon the cross to bring us back to God. There aren't any other variations. There isn't any other way.

Recently, I downloaded an app for my phone from JEFIT. It's to the point. It tells you what needs to be done for each exercise. It walks you through what needs to be done. Though it's a great app, there's no real frills about it. It does what it says it will do.

Now, I'm not comparing Jesus to an app for my cellphone, but think about it this way. Jesus came. He said that the son of man will be betrayed into the hands of the enemy so that scripture will be fulfilled. He said that he came to save us from sin, to be the ultimate sacrifice. He did what he said he would.

So many times, we're disappointed with what is happening around us. We're good people, why can't we be happy for once. Or, many Christians think "We're Christians, why aren't we happy." For some people, this drives them away. For others, this makes them act happy when they ain't.

Jesus didn't come to give us happiness, he came to make us right before God. He came to give us comfort in life and in death, not happiness. He came to give life, not a nice house and a sweet ride.

Are you disappointed with Jesus? Why is that? Can there be a change in how you see him that will change your disappointment into comfort?

Writer's Block--a Lenten Meditation?

Yes, I didn't put up a Monday blog. No, I wasn't participating in a digital fast for Lent. Even if I did, I think it might be against Matthew 6:16-18 to blog about it anyway. The story? I've had writer's block. Yep. Not just writer's block but weight lifting block. Heck, I've had exercise in general block!

With writer's block, I just can't seem to get the words out to blog about something important that is related to be a Spiritual Musclehead. I couldn't think about something that was highly spiritual. I couldn't think of something that was exercise related (mainly because I haven't gone to the gym in a a couple of days to get more material)and I was struggling to think of something dealing with relationships and the emotional side of things. ERG!!

And it's this not knowing what to say that bugs me. I need to know what to say each week. More than that, Sunday comes twice a week for me. As I was thinking about this, I thought of what happened the night Jesus was betrayed. We read in Mark 14 that Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane with Peter, James and John to pray. Jesus needed to unload what was on his soul in prayer. He wanted his three closest friends with him. And what'd these three friends do? They fell asleep. Three times Jesus asked them to stay awake and three times they fell asleep.

I always connect with what Jesus tells them in v40

"When [Jesus]came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him." Mark 14:40

They were blocked. Here they are, with Jesus, having the experience that so many people today wish that they had. It'd be like throwing the football with Joe Montana, playing basketball with Michale Jordan or golfing with Arnold Palmer or driving NASCAR with what's-his-face (I don't follow NASCAR, sorry). And they fell asleep. More than that, they tried to look away (Jesus could tell. He's the Son of God, the second person of the Trinity...that and their eyes were heavy). And they didn't know what to say.

Right now, I don't know what to say. My mind won't move forward sometimes on this. It's blocked. During this season looking forward to Easter, I just don't know what to say right now.

Have you ever had that?

Rockin' out--a Lenten Meditation

I like to lift to music. Loud music. Very loud hard rock Christian music. Something abut it just gets me going. I have my own play list too called Lifting Music. On it, I have Flyleaf, Thousand Foot Krutch, Skillet, Pillar and many others. Each with a good solid base line, pounding drums, great guitar riffs. There's a couple of songs that just get me going when they come on.

Pillar has a song called Fireproof that just gets the blood flowing and the energy pumping. The guitar and base from Fireproof get me going, and then the words just spur it on even more.

Skillet has two songs from their Awake album that kick me into high gear. These two songs by Skillet are on the opposite thematic spectrum. Their song Hero is about the need for a savior, someone to help in times of trouble. On the other hand their song Monster is about our sinful nature wanting to come forth and how it feels like sometimes we have a monster inside of us, controlling us, moving us, leading us to where we don't want to go. Why do these get me going? I don't know to tell the truth. I think it's a combination of lyrics and music that pump my blood and I get that second wind.

At those moments, the world disappears, and it's just me, the weights and God. Nothing else but that.

I called this a Lenten meditation because these three songs are my favorite to work out to and they are amazing songs that exemplify what Lent is. Lent is the time looking forward to Easter, looking forward to celebrating Jesus' resurrection. But in order to get to the resurrection, we have to look at His death. Monster is the reason why Jesus died, because of that monster inside us all that just wants to rip out and destroy everything. That feeling you get when you hold it all back when someone says something just down right mean to you, yeah, that's the monster right there. Jesus died because of the Monster.

Hero talks about needing someone to fight for what's right, no one's going to die tonight. The monster is what causes the need for the Hero to save us so that we won't face death.

And then there's Fireproof. Because of our Hero defeating the Monster, we can't be touched, destroyed, hurt anymore by the Monster. Yes, the Monster will always be inside us, but it ain't got any control over us. Why? Because the Hero made us Fireproof against the Monster.

There's one more important part of my exercise routine and that's cool down. My cool downs are a lot different than my lifting. It's simple, quiet, slow. And my music matches that. I call it my Centering Playlist. It's soft, quiet praise music that settles me, calms me down. I walk around the gym for a bit or I peddle the bike very slowly, focusing, relaxing, calming my body down.

As we approach Easter, we have the Hero who fought the Monster and won. Because of Easter, we can slow down and be calm.

And yes, I actually think about these things while I'm lifting. It's just me, my music and God.

How do you see the coming of Easter through the eyes of Monster, Hero and Fireproof?

Fireproof


Monster


Hero

One year and 20lbs later

It's been a year. I've been attempting this blogging thing for a year. You'd think that the progress I had made at this time last year, I'd be all covered with muscles by now. Or at least that's what I had thought. Last year around this time I was within moments of reaching my weight loss goal. In fact, I surpassed it by May.

And then I gained 30lbs.

Lost 10lbs...then gained some back.

Yeah.

But along the way, I learned much about myself, about what I don't know, and the importance of being healthy regardless of the awesomeness that would have been my biceps.

Last year, around this time, people had noticed my weight loss and how much healthier I was looking. I kept getting asked how I did it. So, I finally decided to write a blog about it. Oh, I thought I was the bees-knees on this one.

And so I wrote my first blog post. I had great dreams about what this blog would be like. And I was wrong. I struggled with what to say, how to say it, how I wold come across. Then I found the blog Stuff Christians Like. Reading it helped me see that I needed to be honest with myself in my blog, explore my own failures as well as my own successes and to look at what all made up being a Spiritual Musclehead.

I was focusing too much on the exercise part, not enough on the rest. Sometimes I look too much at the spiritual and not at the physical nor emotional. But each needs some time. Each needs attention paid to it to be healthy.

And now, a year later, there are 8 official followers (thank you all) and readership from around the world--Thank you to those in Russia, Hungary, China, Germany and US and Canada who read.

But one thing I do stick by, and I'll say it again. There is no quick fix. My secret is a simple 4 step process
1. Hard work
2. Prayer
3. Perseverance
4. Patience

I still have to remind myself of these from time to time.

How's your life going as a Spiritual Musclehead?

The Incredible Hulk-amania!

When I was a kid, I wanted to work out. My sister and I would create our own exercise routines and do them to vinyl LP's such as Amy Grant and the soundtrack to Oliver! (appropriate Christian music). We also had a vinyl LP called Mouscercise, a children's exercise routine from the Walt Disney Company led by the very physically fit Mickey Mouse (he's not muscular, he's just drawn that way). We danced and stretched to classics like Step in Time and I wanna be like you-ooh-ohh. My dad, who was a sergeant in the Marine Corps, would have us do push ups and sit ups and even ride our bikes with him when he would go for his runs.

Soon, I began to have an interest in some body building. The WWF (now WWE) had a Saturday morning cartoon show staring the ever popular "professional" wrestlers and their zanny adventures. And then I wanted to build muscle like Hulk Hogan. My folks got me his Hulkimania workout tape which included weights and a Hulkamania headband! And so I started exercising and lifting weights. Hulk Hogan was my hero!

As with all fads, I started to lose interest. My muscles weren't bulging (I think I was 10 the time) and I wasn't looking anything like Hulk Hogan. But I still kept him in high esteem. When I started doing weight lifting in high school, I used the pep talks Hulk Hogan used to give on my Hulkimania tape (now stored in my memory banks) as motivators.

And when I started lifting again about 6 1/2 years ago, I kept thinking of Hulk Hogan and that inspired me. I was excited when VH1 had that reality TV show Hogan Knows Best and then greatly disappointed when I started watching it. A hero of mine was brought down the level of mere mortals such as I. What I held dear wasn't what it truly was. What I strived for wasn't what it should have been.

But I pursue on. The words from Philippians 3 start coming to my mind at times like these

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ."

I know, I know..my strength is not in Hulk Hogan. It isn't in Arnold Schwarzen-however-you-spell-it. Not in exercise books nor in the very weights I lift. I know with certainty where strength lies, both in my muscles, in my heart and in my spirit. And I know that I can do all things through him who gives me strength.

I just need to remember that when I put just a little bit too many plates when I bench.

What about you...have you had a change in how you viewed a childhood hero? What gives you strength to keep on keeping on?

But it's mine

Why do I force myself to do this alone? I mean, really? Why? I plug away at it. I work hard at it. I work out with fear and trembling.

A new friend offered to work out with me. Something that I miss doing. And then, I held back. But that's my time. That's Josh time. That's where I'm at, that's where I hide, that's where I'm in control. You can't join my little bit of the universe. Now, if this person had said "I'd like to check out your church." I'd've been right on board with that. Here's how you get there. This is the best place to sit. This is what I'm preaching on Sunday. That's not a problem. But to invade my sanctum, to invade what I hold so dear and true.

Why did I hold back?

Because it's part of my spiritual journey. My health, my lifting is part of my spiritual journey...and why would I want to share that with anyone... but that's the point. We are. We need to. I'm not in this alone. They eye needs the brain, the brain needs the hands, the hands need the nose...even the appendix is part of the body...

So...I need to break down my own walls. My own worries, and allow someone in on my spiritual journey... lifting weights, walking with God, seeing deeper into my own soul and my walk with God

Old School Feel

It's been a bit, but I finally started hitting the gym again. It's strange, really. I got so used to the gym back in the Chicago area. The equipment was newish, and was about to be upgraded to brand-spankin new shortly after I left. The free weight station was good, solid new equipment. The machines were in good shape, a bit worn, but up to date. I had my groove in place. I knew what to use, how to use it and what I could handle.

But now I'm at a new gym. It's an old school style. The equipment is good and solid but olderish. And it's not as crowded and so I've done most my workouts alone. Now, I'm a big advocate for having a spotter and workout partner, or at least having someone around. But I also know what I'm doing and have the safeties in place.

It's not that the gym is bad, it's different from what I'm used to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing Old School gyms in the least. Some of the greatest body builders of all time and some celebrity body builders too (Hulk Hogan, Arnold "The Govenator" Schwarzeneggner to name two) have come from the Old School style of lifting. And there've been many greats who have come from a new method of working out.

But the problem comes when you lift Old School over New School and vice versa. There are many lifting books out that are touting that we need to go back to Old School lifting. And there are other books out that bring forth the latest in exercise science in weight training. Both have their merits and their problems. Somewhere a good balance can be found and used to be effective in lifting and weight training.

Recently, I've started pastoring a church here in South Dakota. To be honest (and I'm not putting anything down at all, I love the place) it has that Old School feel. Old School isn't bad. It's different. I'm trying to get used to it. I'm trying to get used to how it works, how it functions, what's available to be done and what I need to improvise on. The church here in Corsica is a good solid body of belivers who have a solid foundation--Old School and good. I came from a different area. Not cutting edge but different. And it was also good.

I do know this--since moving out to South Dakota, I've placed 3 inches around my waist and 20 lbs on me. That I don't like. I'm trying to get my self motivated again to hit the weights. I miss it. I need it. I don't want to gain weight spiritually. And I know that there is strength in the Old School I am at. Good. Solid. Strong. And I like that.

This is all new to me. But I'm looking forward to building up with them, Old School style and finding our way in Serving God and doing his kingdom work here in Corsica, SD.

Being guided

Yesterday morning, as I sat and drank my coffee, I was doing my devotions. That is, I was taking time, reading through the book of Mark in the Bible and then reading through a book with daily thoughts on Scripture called Today (www.thisistoday.net). The small reflection on how to live my life in a way that is good and pleasing to God. It was about living in God's grace found in Jesus. As I have been reading through the Today booklet and through the Book of Mark, I've been reflecting on how I need to live my life and how I HAVE been living my life. In my own personal readings, I've been seeing how I need to strive to be more like Jesus in my day to day living. In the Today booklet, there's advice on how to do this. Not much, just a few words here and there, but enough to be helpful.

When I was done with my devotions, I realized that there was a weightlifting exercise I wanted to take another look at in one of my books. I wasn't sure if I was doing it right and I wanted to also reexamine exactly which muscle groups I was working. I have a book called Strength Training Anatomy by Frederic Delavir which I have found helpful in better understanding how the muscles work and how to do the exercises properly.

And then it hit me. I was doing something similar with exercising as I was doing with my own spiritual walk.

In our spiritual walk, we can't do it alone. We need guidance and direction. In trying to be healthy, we can't do it alone. We need guidance and direction. I was flipping through the Today devotional to see who had written it, two pastors for the months of May and June. Both pastors were had been in the ministry for a number of years. Looking at Strength Training Anatomy, the author is a long time weight lifter, editor of a European lifting magazine and award winning artist.

Guidance and direction in our spiritual journey as well in our journey for better health comes from those who have gone before us. It comes from those who encourage us and lead us and guide us. We need people to help cheer us on and help us know where to go in our spiritual journey.

IN the Book of Hebrews, there's this great section that speaks of a Great Cloud of Witnesses (http://read.ly/Heb12.1.NIV). This Great Cloud is cheering us on as we keep our eyes upon Jesus, the one who we strive to be like in all that we do.

Who is cheering you on? Who is part of your Great Cloud of Witnesses? What books can you read that will help foster a healthy spiritual walk with God? What books can you read that will help you foster a healthy lifestyle? Who can you talk with to help guide you along your personal spiritual journey?