Point Break

I've been doing Weight Watchers (for Men) since July. I've lost 20lbs. The last 15 have come off even without much activity on my part. This lack of activity is not from trying. Trust me. I tried skipping rope. I tried going at my heavy bag. But this blasted walking pneumonia has taken me down a few pegs.To tell the truth, in many ways, it has humbled me. I don't like admitting it, that's for sure.

I've learned that, no, I cannot do it all. I've learned that I must rely on others when attempting to do something. I've learned that I must accept the generosity of others when they are trying to help. And this has been hard.

I've also learned that I eat a lot of crap sometimes. I went to Pizza Ranch last week to celebrate my kiddos' birthdays (they're born right next to each other three years apart). Last week I had a max of 66 points for the day and 49 wiggle room points. I knew I was going to Pizza Ranch that night so I did my best to conserve points. But I still went over the top and hit 90 points that night, being left with 27 wiggle room points. I looked through what I ate. Did I really need that second piece of fried chicken goodness? Did I need to eat a second Bronco Pizza slice?

Where did my control go? I do great that day, even turning down a slice of warm apple crumble with vanilla ice cream at my classis (regional governing body CRC's in this area) meeting on Tuesday so I could go to Pizza Ranch that night.

The rest of the week wasn't any better. Too much cake. Too much ice cream. Not enough rest to get over my walking pneumonia. Yet, God has been good to me. Smiling down on me and allowing me to break through the weight limit when I got below 310. Okay, so it's 309.8 but still. It's better than what I was worried it would be.

So, this week, I begin with new vigor. I am recharged to keep at it. Now, I just gotta do it. I need to place my own pride to the side and keep moving forward. I'm even trying to not emphasize the "For Men" part. But it's hard. It's like carrying around a murse. Of course, I call it a satchel. It's a satchel until you put chap stick in it.

In my own spiritual health, I'm trying to do my best with putting aside me pride. And it's hard. I know I need to place my self second before God, to humble myself before him and admit that I can't do it all myself. That is hard to do when you're someone who is used to plowing forward on your own and doing it by yourself.

Next week is communion at church. We'll be taking the Lord's Supper. I'm spending this week reflecting on that. And the question that came up for me this week too is how many points is communion anyway? I've decided that it's 0 points for the grace we have in Jesus and also listed as a power food because it fuels us to go forward.

I am...forgiven

What do you call yourself?

What's your name?

They say that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. But if you call it a stink weed would it still have the same idea of smelling sweet?

So many times, we call ourselves by what we've done and what we do. But there are other times where we see ourselves by what we wish we hadn't done. Is that a bit too philosophical and out there? Probably. Sorry.

What's I'm trying to say is that when it comes to being healthy--physically, emotionally and spiritually--we need to also look at forgiveness.

It's so hard to forgive I think. It's hard for our bodies sometimes to forgive us for putting it through a hard workout. It's hard sometimes to forgive others when they've put us through hard times. It's hard sometimes for us to forgive ourselves because of our own body image. erg.. again.. philosophical.

Let me try this again...

you ever just want to beat somebody upside the head with a baseball bat because of what they said to you? yeah. That feeling. It'd be great to do that sometimes I think. But we can't. It wouldn't be too good to do something like that. And it's even harder to forgive them. And you know what, somewhere out there there's someone who wants to do the exact same thing to you because of something you might have said or done did to them.

Now, take a step back, put down the baseball bat and think this through. Do you want to be called forgiven? Forgiven from what you've done to others, forgiven for what you'd like to do with the baseball bat? No, seriously, put down the bat.

Forgiveness is a two way street. God is willing to forgive us but sometimes we need to be willing to forgive God. Sounds weird. I know. But it's true. Sometimes you might just want to take that baseball bat to God, huh? Put it down.

We also need to forgive others for what they've done to us. And we need to seek forgiveness from those we might have hurt and who want to take a baseball bat to us.

So, why is it healthy to forgive? Dude, so much to say that is too long for a blog post, that's for sure. But in short, a lack of forgiveness just builds up in us. And when it gets too big, we just want to act out that frustration on something, someone. And this can come out through a workout, through going at it on a heavy bag, to wanting to (put it down) get a baseball bat.

Forgiving does something to us. It helps us to let it go. To not let someone or something have control over us. And to tell the truth, if you don't forgive, that anger can really build up in you.

What is your name? Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to ask forgiveness from?

Trust me, just starting down that road will lead to a better healthy life physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The Adult ADD prayer

Our Father who art in heaven…
…why is he “who art” in heaven. That’s a funny word, “art” it sounds like a seal barking…that would be funny: a seal barking.. art! art! art! …

Sorry, God…ah, hem… who art in heaven…
…I wonder if heaven’s purple?
I wonder if it’ll be fun there…will they play rock n’ roll or some of that old time Gospel music I heard once at that barber shop.
He really cut my hair short that day…
…man I hate it when you wear that shirt you wore the next day…
…that shirt you wear when you get your hair cut and then put it on the next day and it’s all itchy. ….

Sorry God…ah, hem…sorry sorry…hallowed be thy name…
Is it hollowed? … Or Howard?
Why hallowed? Is it up? Is it down?
Would hallowed be polka dotted or more of a valor feeling to it.
I think my grandma had something that was valor once. I should call her.
She sent me a birthday card last week. …
…no…
…I was supposed to send her a birthday card last week

FOCUS.
FOCUS.
FOCUS.
…

Oh yeah…hallowed by thy name…I’m sorry, God, I keep getting off track
…your kingdom come…
I was always told that I wouldn’t actually do what I was told until kingdom come…is that what I’m praying for?
If it’s kingdom come why shouldn’t I do what I was told…

…did I feed the cat this morning?
…

I am so sorry, God…your will be done…
…
… …
What in the world does that mean?
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven…
I really have to wonder if heaven’s purple? Seriously God, heaven just seems like it’d be purple to me

focus
focus
FO CUS.

Give me this day my daily bread…
Or pizza…why do they call it pizza? What’s with that ‘tsza’ sound…
…why can’t they spell it phonetically….
…why isn’t phonetic spelled phonetically…
…how would you phonetically spell pizza…
…would it be peetzsa?
What about give me this day my daily peetzsa…would it be okay to also pray for help with my check book…did I pay the car payment?

…did I feed the cat

FOCUS

Dear lord, I was trying to pray for someone…not I can’t remember. I was told to pray that you forgive others as you’ve forgiven me…but …wait…no, that’s why I was praying…

You know what Lord just please help me to focus on you. Forgive me from wandering. Help me not get distracted by shinny objects when I try to look to you.

...help me to focus on praying to you
… help me focus living for you
… Help me focus serving you
… keep me from wandering

...

…oh yeah, and Amen.

FORD Tough--Part 2 Beginning repairs

Just a quick update. My pickup is once again in the shop. Yes. That's right. Back in the shop. It's a small cracked seal. Easy cheap fix, right? Wrong. It's a seal that's right near the transmission. In order to get to the seal, the transmission has to be removed. In order to remove the transmission, you have to open up the engine all together. I'm also worried that this blog on being healthy is going to start being a blog bemoaning my pickup. And I get ribbed because it's a Ford (Fix or Repair Daily they tell me). Well, I want to be FORD tough.

Being FORD tough is hard. It takes a lot of work. So many times we think we're dealing with a simple problem. We think, "Hey, it's just leaking oil. No big whoop. Just need to tighten the cap on the oil pan." We look at the symptoms and think that all we need is just a little fix.

I think we do that in life sometimes too. We look at the symptoms and think that all we really need is a little fix. Just some extra effort here, a little bit of work there. But in all honesty. I think we need to honestly look at ourselves.

I came across a blog that has really hit home for me. It's called Fat Girl,Fit World. Her latest blog post reflected what I've had to realize about myself. She said that it's hard to see yourself for you you really are. And that's so true.

And I've had to come to a realization that my pickups messed up too. It's a classic. It's great. And it's falling a part. So, how is this being FORD tough? When you're FORD tough, you have to constantly understand that you're in need of fixing and repairing daily. You have to actually admit it. And that's hard. This is called "confessing" something that I talked about at the end of Part 1 of being FORD tough.

To be FORD tough is to admit that you're not perfect, that you are going to make mistakes and you need to forgive yourself of your mistakes, and ask others to forgive you as well. But it's hard to do so. Being FORD tough means you understand you need help in this area.

I like these words

Praise the LORD , O my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. Psalm 103:2-3

We have other words on forgiveness--forgiving each other, forgiving ourselves. We have the truth that is given to us. I love to hear these words from Jesus

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:6-7

The truth is: My pick ups busted. The truth is: I can't fix it myself but need help from Grant at Select Services here in town.

The truth is: We make mistakes and need help accepting them. The truth is: There's only one person who can truly help us do this.

The truth is, there's a great way to be repaired.

What mistakes do you need to accept? What are things you need to forgive yourself for?