Get your dent on

Weight is something I've struggled with all my life. Since I was a kid I've been called fat, overweight and, well, some very nasty words as well. I wore size husky in everything. Looking back on those pictures of me as a kid, I wasn't fat at all. I was big. I was tall and big for my age. People thought I was two or three years older than I really was. One teacher thought I was lying to her when I said I was never held back a grade or three.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been trying to put a dent in my weight. In high school, I looked at going into the Navy. No offense to the Navy or the rest of our armed services, but not the best for one's sense of self worth when you're told the only way you'll ever be accepted in life is to be thinner.

In college, I dropped down to my healthiest weight yet. But according to all the charts, I was still considered obese. Of course, according to the charts, to be what they want me to be I'd have to be skin and bones.

In Seminary, I struggled with a lot of school work, etc and gained way too much weight. In 2004, I started to put a dent into it. By 2010, I'd lost 100lbs (or more. When I was at my heaviest, no one had a scale that would weigh me outside of a zoo.) In December of 2010, I was up 15 pounds. In February, I was up 20. In May, I was up 30 and rising.

I decided it was time to put a dent in it again. Step by step. Minute by minute. And today, I've lost 5lbs since I started.

One of the things that's been helpful for me has been encouragement from friends and family. It's also been coming back to listening to or reading God's word. I know, I know, so cliche, but honestly, this blog is called Spiritual Musclehead (or as I like to say, come for the zombies, stay for Jesus).

We're so fearfully and wonderfully made. Our physical health affects our emotional/mental and spiritual health. Our emotional/mental health affects our spiritual and physical health and our spiritual health does the same.

And so I trudge on. Sometimes I really don't want to eat that apple. But with zero points for an apple vs a candy bar, well, I'm gonna be stingy and go for that. I don't always want to take that time to read or to pray but I know it's needed for my own health and journey. Other times, I so look forward to it all. I so look forward to eating something good and healthy (I know, scary , huh?).

It's amazing what God can truly do.

What are you doing to keep healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually?

Points to ponder

I gave up. I decided I needed help. A year ago, I was under my goal weight and was joyfully trying to figure out my new goal weight. I was under 300lbs for the first time in 10 years! Then we moved to South Dakota where the main recipe in a lot of the food here is a pinch of awesome. You want good farm cookin where the steak you're chowin down on just mooed three days ago, come to South Dakota.

Then it happened. Slowly at first. It crept up on me. First I noticed my collar was getting a bit to tight when I tied my tie. Then I noticed my pants were starting to hurt a little bit if I sat down too long (and that's at the natural waist line, none of this over/under stuff for me). I queitly one day snuck out and bought a cheap pair of jeans that were a size bigger. No one had to know. Not even me. Then I had to get a larger dress shirt and that's when it hurt.

And so, I began the ever spiral of self pitty and Pillsbury Chocolate icing. A number of stressful life factors came in as well. But still, I used the icing to smooth over the cracks of pain. I began hitting the gym more and harder. I was feeling more fit. I was feeling better. I was still hovering around 330 though. And I couldn't get it below 328.

Finally, as a birthday present, I was given a three month membership to Weight Watchers. That girly thing? Where Jennifer Hudson and others advertise how it's helped them. I'm all in but the only girlish figure I want is my wife standing next to me. No, no no, they have Weight Watchers for men. So, is this like where you can eat more meat and less veggies? Nope. But it does have a cool iPhone app.

On Sunday, we had cake. My first thought: How many points. Yeah. that's right. I didn't think of anything else. Not the fact that it was in celebration of 70 years of marriage for a couple in our church, not that, the points.

I'm also realizing I'm stingy too. I'm eating more fruits not because they're good for me. No. Because they're 0 points. ya. Nada, zippo. So, if I want to eat ice cream at night and it's 2 in the afternoon. I save my points by munching on an apple.

But at the same time it's like "but I like a ton of mayo on my burgers." Nope. 9 points for 3 tablespoons of that stuff.

So, I'm not eating exactly what i want but I know I can have some burgers and ice cream. Still figuring out these points. I also read a post this morning on Robshep.com about the same thing. So I'm not the only dude trying to figure all this out.

So, I'll ask the same questions he did: Have you ever done weight watchers? Have you lost weight? What'd you think of it?