Exhaust Fumes

I'm tired. I'm feeling drained. I'm exhausted beyond thunderdome. And so, what do I do at 8:30 at night? I hit the gym. Now, I was smart enough not to hit the weights. Instead, I hit the bike. As I was peddling, I realized I wasn't doing as much or as intense as I usually do (which to begin with, isn't that much nor intense). And then I began to think about football.

Back in high school, I played freshman football. I think I should place "played" more in italics then anything else. I played freshman football. I was more like 5th string. Did you know, in freshman football, they try really hard to have almost everyone play at once a game. Yeah. Not me. That's how "good" I was. Towards the end of the season, I broke my ankle pretty bad. I like to tell people that I broke my ankle playing football, but truth be told, it was after practice one night. A buddy and I were tossing the football around when I broke it--bad.

How bad? I was in the hospital for about a week, bed rest for about a month, on crutches from Thanksgiving to St. Patrick's Day. I was living with my dad at the time, and he truly did his best to help. But his job was as such that he needed to be at work HOURS before I had to be at school. He couldn't keep taking time off to take me to school. So, since I lived about a mile and a half away from school, I crutched. I crutched on my crutches 1 1/2 miles each way. It was like doing constant bar dips and squats. I lost weight, I toned up. All except my left leg. It was still in a cast. My calf muscle atrophied. The muscle stopped being used and it shrunk. To this day, my left calf is smaller than my right. Always will be. Looking at my calf this evening got me to thinking about football and how things change.

But I also started thinking of something else. I started realizing that in many ways, I was not only physically exhausted but emotionally and spiritually as well. I'm tired. I felt like I might be running on fumes. And yet I press on.

An old college friend of mine is a missionary in the Philippines teaching English. In a blog post, she mentioned how she's been working on becoming spiritual healthy. And I loved hearing that. But she also ha worries to. What if when/if they come back to the States, they lose that spiritual healthiness they've obtained while in the missionary field.

To be honest, I'm worried what if I spiritually atrophy? What if I emotionally atrophy? And I'm tired. There are times where I just want to have the ref ring the bell so I can sit down, have Mickey Goldmill splash water on me, wipe off the blood, tell me how Apollo is dropping his left when he does a right hook and then send me out. Just something. Something...

And then I hear these words...

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

...just tired...gentle and humble sound nice right now. Rest for your souls sounds nice right now...so does easy and light...

Where do you need rest? Where are you exhausted right now? How can you place your burdens to Jesus?

Shhh... don't tell anyone.. but...

shhh.. come a bit closer... closer.. I TOOK THE DAY OFF!!

I know. I know. Weird huh? I actually did it. I didn't plan it. I really thought I was going to work today and then it just, well, happened. Now, I know, some think "Day off? A pastor only works once a week for an hour, two at most." I've been pushing through hard these last few weeks. I've been putting my hardest into my sermons. I've been working hard on visiting people, going to meetings, making phone calls, talking with people. And I was getting tired. I was trying to fit in working out, watching a show here or there and most importantly, trying really hard to spend time with my family.

And then, it happened. At the worst possible time too. I had a lot to do today. I was behind in my sermon work. I had done a lot of visiting with people this last week, I spent time trying to do some meetings and research. I also had one of THE worst cases of writer's block around. And then, this morning around a quarter to 7 I asked my sweet, wonderful, loving wife if I could just sleep a bit longer. I woke up at 8:45... I haven't done that in the longest time!! Then, to be nice, after I woke up, I told my wonderful wife to take a nap.

So, what'd I do when she went back to sleep? Did I get to sermonating? Did I start working on my late power point? Nope. I dinked on Facebook. I checked the stats on my blog (a number of hits from the States, some from Greece, a couple from Russia and Slovenia.. props to all of you) and then spent some time with the kiddos. I then had an amazing idea, I'll take the kiddos to Wal-Mart and do some shopping while my wife takes some time off. And I actually enjoyed my time.

When I cam home, I had a message from The Globe, our local newspaper, to do a religious op-ed piece. Then my pick up was finished being worked on and Grant, the owner of Select Services (on the corner of HWY 281 and 1st St/273rd/Harrison Rd in Corsica, SD.. they do great work) dropped it off personally at my house. To top it off, that blasted snow blower is fixed and was brought back (though I'm still a bit wary of using it). I then got to hit the gym and didn't have to feel rushed or anything...I even thought of writing this blog post.

At first, I chomped at the bit. I was anxious. I felt like I needed to work. And then I became worried that I'd start typing "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." I was torn between working hard for God and taking time to rest. I'm glad I chose to rest.

And now, as soon as I finish this blog post, I'm heading down to the basement to have a lightsaber fight with my son (take that Obi-Wan Kenobi).

So, what do I got to say after all of this? Part of being a Spiritual Musclehead is resting.

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.
(Genesis 1:31-2:3)

How can you take a day off and rest?