Sunday, August 1, 2010

Be Still

I do one of four things when I get anxious or nervous. I lift weights, I hit the punching bag, I go for a walk or I munch on junk food. Since May 25, I have been anxious. I interviewed for a position as pastor for two churches in Corsica, SD. An amazing place. But I became anxious. What if they didn't like me? What if I did something to blow the interview? What if? What if? What if? And so I hit the gym, I lifted weights. I hit the bag and worked on my "boxing" skills. I went for walks and contemplated what God might have in store. But I also ate. Too much. I was able to compensate with my exercise but after a while I realized I was just making excuses for myself. And then my bag and weight bench were packed and moved...and I munched.

On June 27, I was offered the position. On July 3, I accepted. I wish I could say that my anxiety calmed. It didn't. I think it got worse. I wish there was a way to say that I found the perfect answer to calm my anxiety. I don't. Not in the least. But I have learned something.

Since we've arrived here in town, I've been praying a lot more. A lot lot more. And one line from Psalm 46 has been going through my head "Be still and know that I am God, I will be honored amongst the nations." I still have my anxiety, but I also need to stay still. Be still, listen to God's voice, his caring touch on the shoulder, leading and guiding.

There is something bigger than myself out there. And he is in charge. Be still, I hear him tell me, and I will take care of it. Be still, and understand that there are bigger things.

Health is so important to me both physical and spiritual. I've learned over the last few years that my physical health is tied into my spiritual health and vice versa. And so, I must be still. Come to my Father in prayer and listen to him, not just gab but truly, completely, listen and be still.

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