My Deere, John letter

Back in January, I blogged (okay, maybe complained a bit too) about the snow blower. One thing about the snow blower is that it forced me to be a better Christian, to be a better example of Jesus to others. Why? Because the blasted thing really...breathe..breathe...

In short, using the snow blower in plain sight of my kids and of the community around me forced me to make sure I behaved myself and was Christ like even to the blasted...to the snow blower.

And so, summer seems to be upon us. And the lawn needs to be mowed. To tell the truth, I haven't mowed a lawn really since 1993 (It was an electric mower on wet grass...I'll let you do the math on that one).

So why am I once again writing a post on all of this? Because, I'm mowing the lawn with a John Deere mower. Last year when we first moved out here. I mowed the lawn once or twice. Why? Because I just don't don't think to mow it. That, and, well, the first time I tried mowing the grass, it took almost two hours to mow the front yard alone. And so, I kinda stopped doing it.

With spring being sprung and then summer hitting full force, the lawn needs to be mowed. My in-laws were out here over Memorial Day weekend and they helped with yard work. That's when I learned somethings.

1) That I was doing the whole mowing thing all wrong and thus making it harder and more time consuming

2)and that blasted mower is a power motor with two speeds (leisurely pace and Tim Allen's more power fast..cue the grunt).

So, once again I went to mow the lawn. First it didn't start. Then it didn't start. and then it didn't start. My son watched me from a distance. I could see what was going on in his mind "Will daddy blow a gasket again like he did with the snow blower?"

Thank you Jesus, because the thing finally did start, I put it into Tim Allen's more power super speed and did the grunt. I cranked up the tunage and mowed the lawn.

Thank you John Deere for making power mowers!

That blasted cat in the cradle song

My 5 year-old son has been begging me for some "boy time." Just time with him and daddy. And I so want to. I really do. But I've been busy. Real busy. Since my wife's car accident, I've been trying hard to do double duty. I hardly have enough time to go to the gym. And I struggle with it. I so want to spend time with my son. And I know he desperately wants to spend time with me. Even coming into my office, grabbing my arm and pleading with me to do something with him. To help him ride his bike, to play lightsabers with him, to race Hot Wheels, something.

Then, the other day, he wanted to play. I was busy. He started playing with a neighbor boy. And then he and the neighbor boy went to play. As I watched my son walk down the street, he kept looking back at me with a smile that said he was afraid of going away from me but excited to play with a new friend. As he walked away, the song The Cats in the Cradle started playing in my mind (not the one from the 60's but Ugly Kid Joe's version)



Yesterday again, he wanted boy time. So, he and I cleaned up the kitchen. He helped unload the dishwasher and helped wipe off the kitchen table. We then split an apple fritter. I sat there, with my coffee and my half of the fritter and we talked, at least, the best type of conversation a dad can have with his 5 year-old.

During our conversation, he told me how it was interesting that a his skin moved by his eyes when he chewed. I told him it was his muscles in his face moving. "Muscles?" his eyes lit up. So we went on Google and looked up facial muscles. He wanted to know more. So I pulled out Strength Training Anatomy by Frederic Delavier and showed my son the other muscles in the body. He was enthralled. I showed him the different muscles in the body, how the moved, how they worked. It was the most amazing thing to him. A whole new way of looking at things.

Part of my health journey, and part of his as well, is that we are healthy emotionally. That healthy emotional father/son bond that's so needed for him (and I know for me). That father/son bond that helps my son know what it means to be accepted, valued and most of all to be a man of God. And I so want to teach my son how to be a good solid man of God, a devout follower of Jesus Christ. And I know I'm going to fail, I know it's going to be hard. But I'm trying to teach him and show him what's important in life. I'm trying to help develop his own interests whether he's growin up geek or falls in love with rebuilding cars (maybe he can work on my pick-up).

Whatever he chooses, I'll support him. I just hope he remembers and cherishes what "boy time" we do have together like I do.

Star Wars parenting tips

There are times at the end of the day where you just want to hang your head and cry. I mean just sob. Not out of pain, not out of agony, but purely out of stress. Can't I just have five seconds to myself in the bathroom, please? Can't I make one phone call without you guys headbutting each other (okay, I did teach them that one, so it is kind of my fault).

In an earlier post, I made reference to wanting some sort of spiritual advice in raising my kids. Of all the people in all of Geekdom, the one person thought of as the ultimate wise mentor and advisory is Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was a strong mentor and trainer for Luke. I wish I had someone like that to give me advice. And then I (once again) have to remind myself that this is the same guy who raised Darth Vader. Though, in watching all 6 (4 good) Star Wars movies, I being to wonder if it really wasn't his fault. I mean, he did his best to teach Anakin how to be a good person, how to listen to the flow of the force. But in the end, it was the influence of Emperor Palpitine that led him to the Dark Side....

...well... it was also his insecurities too.

I want to be a good father. I want to be a good example of what a man of God is supposed to be like. And boy do I slip up! I try to show them what it means to pray and read the Bible and instead he mimics me when I get upset and frustrated. I try to teach him how to be good, nice, gentile, Christlike, and he mimics my bad habits. And I want to know, who taught my daughter to put her hands on her hips when she's being defiant...And maybe it wasn't the best idea to teach my son the awesomeness of burping into a wrapping paper tube and having it broadcast around the house...

We're doing our best to teach our kiddos healthy living both in eating habits and in physical exercise. Why do I feel like a failure when trying to teach them how to be spiritually healthy as well...

I hear these words

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4


Okay, so, yes, Yoda sensed in Anakin much fear, but Obi-Wan still did his best. I think my kids sense in me much fear..but I'm going to do my best.. by the grace of God, I'll do my best...and I need a lot of grace.

Growing up geek

I'm a total sci-fi geek. Sounds weird, I know. I like to lift weights. I like watching football (Da Bears) and I love headbanging to Beastie Boys. But I love me some Star Wars. I love watching Star Trek (TOS, TNG, DS9, Voyager, even Enterprise). When my wife and I first met, we bonded over our love for Sci-fi (She was writing a symphony based on a sci-fi concept). At our home, the DVR is almost always recording something for us from the Syfy channel. For my wife's birthday I bought her the complete series of Firefly. For our Christmas we bought the official release of the original pre-1997 DVD's of Star Wars. We have all 6 on DVD and the first three on VHS. We have almost all the TNG movies on DVD. My wife has the soundtracks for all the Star Wars movies. We love sci-fi.

And I'm realizing that it has come through in my parenting as well. I'm teaching my kids to see things through the eyes of a geek.

My kids both have their own lightsabers. And one of their favorite things to do is to have a lightsaber fight with Dad (and I have my own Mace Windu lightsaber, thank you very much). I've gotten into the habit of saying to my whining and impatient children "patience young padiwan." I've even tried the Jedi mind trick with my son to get him to eat his veggies. Still hasn't worked.

I've realized that my kids have picked up on this. They love watching Star Wars with me. My son has so far brought a lightsaber, R2-D2 and a Luke Skywalker action figure to school for show and tell. His folder for school is an old school Star Wars one. And the other day, my two year-old daughter tried the Jedi mind trick on my wife.

Daughter: Cookie please Mommy.

Wife: No honey, I'm not going to give you a cookie

Daughter: (*waving hand like Obi-Wan Kenobi*) cookie.

Wife: no

Daughter: (*waving hand like Obi-Wan Kenobi*) cookie.

Wife: Jedi mindtricks won't work on me

My daughter walked away pouting.

I'm waiting for the day when I have to explain to them that the Holy Spirit is NOT like the Force from Star Wars.

But I still tell them in the words of Yoda: There is do or do not, there is no try

And when my son tries to haggle with me for how many veggies he eats, I love telling him to eat more and when he complains I say "I've altered the deal, pray I don't alter it again."

Ahh...parenthood.

(Still not going to take tips from Obi-Wan Kenobi though)

Shhh... don't tell anyone.. but...

shhh.. come a bit closer... closer.. I TOOK THE DAY OFF!!

I know. I know. Weird huh? I actually did it. I didn't plan it. I really thought I was going to work today and then it just, well, happened. Now, I know, some think "Day off? A pastor only works once a week for an hour, two at most." I've been pushing through hard these last few weeks. I've been putting my hardest into my sermons. I've been working hard on visiting people, going to meetings, making phone calls, talking with people. And I was getting tired. I was trying to fit in working out, watching a show here or there and most importantly, trying really hard to spend time with my family.

And then, it happened. At the worst possible time too. I had a lot to do today. I was behind in my sermon work. I had done a lot of visiting with people this last week, I spent time trying to do some meetings and research. I also had one of THE worst cases of writer's block around. And then, this morning around a quarter to 7 I asked my sweet, wonderful, loving wife if I could just sleep a bit longer. I woke up at 8:45... I haven't done that in the longest time!! Then, to be nice, after I woke up, I told my wonderful wife to take a nap.

So, what'd I do when she went back to sleep? Did I get to sermonating? Did I start working on my late power point? Nope. I dinked on Facebook. I checked the stats on my blog (a number of hits from the States, some from Greece, a couple from Russia and Slovenia.. props to all of you) and then spent some time with the kiddos. I then had an amazing idea, I'll take the kiddos to Wal-Mart and do some shopping while my wife takes some time off. And I actually enjoyed my time.

When I cam home, I had a message from The Globe, our local newspaper, to do a religious op-ed piece. Then my pick up was finished being worked on and Grant, the owner of Select Services (on the corner of HWY 281 and 1st St/273rd/Harrison Rd in Corsica, SD.. they do great work) dropped it off personally at my house. To top it off, that blasted snow blower is fixed and was brought back (though I'm still a bit wary of using it). I then got to hit the gym and didn't have to feel rushed or anything...I even thought of writing this blog post.

At first, I chomped at the bit. I was anxious. I felt like I needed to work. And then I became worried that I'd start typing "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." I was torn between working hard for God and taking time to rest. I'm glad I chose to rest.

And now, as soon as I finish this blog post, I'm heading down to the basement to have a lightsaber fight with my son (take that Obi-Wan Kenobi).

So, what do I got to say after all of this? Part of being a Spiritual Musclehead is resting.

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.
(Genesis 1:31-2:3)

How can you take a day off and rest?

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi

One thing I've learned: Kids don't come with an instruction manual. When my son was born, I looked at the doctor and said "Are the instructions in there as well?" Neither he nor my wife found that all too funny. I think I was actually being serious. There's nothing in this world that could have prepared me for being a parent.

I was always told in high school that algebra would be useful when I grew up. Algebra doesn't tell you how to hold your ground when you're son refuses to eat one mandarin orange slice. Algebra never taught me to resist the urge to go all Mad Max and the Thurnderdome on my kids, throwing them in the basement, two will enter, one will leave. And telling them to go to their room until their 18 doesn't work all to well either.

And no matter how many books you find, algebra doesn't prepare you for potty training. Worst than that, it doesn't prepare you to deal with people who are perfect parents and remind you of such as they give you advice after advice after advice of how to raise your kids such as doing potty training. Sorry, but I'm not about to let my daughter run around the house naked to get used to going potty. I really don't want to clean that all up.

What I never could figure out is how come my two kids can be at each others throats one minute--pushing and fighting and arguing--then getting along and being good to each other the next. And then after that, they're way too quiet conspiring to take over the world! No, seriously, I think my son said that and then added that evil scientist laugh (muwhahahahaha) afterward.

I was told that my kids would have different personalities. What I wasn't told was that they would have different personalities but both very similar to mine. My daughter is strong willed, obstinate and cunning--I don't think even duct tape can keep her at bay. My son is silver tongued, can haggle like you wouldn't believe, nice, gentle and can throw a temper tantrum like you wouldn't believe. Yeah, these are my kids.

I've always wanted like a spiritual mentor. Someone who could help me be a good father, one who modles Christ to my kids. One who shows my kids what it means to be a Godly person, a Godly man, a man who loves Jesus. And I work hard on it. And my kids (much like the snow blower) has been teaching me to be more Christlike. Because unlike that blasted snow blower (which has been taken into the John Deere shop for now, thank goodness)my kids can and WILL repeat what I say.

Why can't I have an Obi-wan Kenobi of parenting to come in and teach me the Jedi mind trick that gets my son to eat his veggies and fruit? Why can't I get the help of an Obi-Wan Kenobi who can help me reach out with the force and get my daughter to stop jumping off the couch like it's a high dive at the pool. Of course, Obi-Wan did raise Anikan after all. One of my favorite lines from Star Wars: Attack of the Clones was after flying through Corisant traffic, Obi-Wan and Anikan come to a restaurant. Obi-Wan is addressing the driving skills of his padiwan saying "I fear someday you will be the death of me." Oh, how prophetic. He raised Anikan who became Darth Vader who killed Obi-Wan in the Death Star in Star Wars: A New Hope. Maybe I shouldn't have him for parenting advice after all.

So, but by the grace of God, go I in parenting..Lord help me be Christ to my kids...please..and if you're trying to teach me something.. uncle

7 Gray Hairs

I've found gray hairs. I've found 7 gray hairs on my head. So not cool. Way not cool. I'm 33, I shouldn't have gray hairs. Who can I blame? I'm leaning towards my kids. I asked my mom about her hair some time back..besides first claiming they were natural highlights confirmed what I feared--I caused them.

Maybe I should call them gray hares for my fear is that they will multiply like rabbits. Some say it looks distinguished. And it would--if I was 20 years older. Do I have to truly admit that I'm getting older? That when I turned 30 my body started to decompose and it's starting to show in my hair. Or is it that my metabolism has slowed more and thus affecting my hair color?

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

So I'll hold on to this. This is my promise for now. I know I'm getting older. I know I'm not as cool as I used to be, I know I will stumble and fall. But God won't. I'll have to hold to that promise...and remind myself of it when I'm lifting and get tired before I think I should.

But if my gray hair is from having kids, me and God are gonna have some words...so not fair that just because I gave them to my mom that I should get them too... though.. I can pass along the curse of having kids just like me to mine.. (insert evil laugh here)..or would that be too mean??

prayer time with the kiddos

I'm taking the kiddos in the church parking lot to ride their bikes. I'm tired and wanted to rest, but they so wanted to go. As they ride the alarm goes off. My son stops riding and prays. I'm teaching him something.

As he's riding his bike, a boy rides up on his bike. My son and the new kid start riding together and comparing bikes. Something tells me i better cherish this moment. Teaching him to pray and ride his bike. Soon he'll be taking off on his own. 34 minutes until the alarm goes off and to pray again. I so hope i can be a good father to my kids.

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child like prayers

It's snowing out. In October. Im getiing used to living here. As i start up doing the 60/60 prayer thing again, i see a change in my son. The last time i did it, he would run and yell "time to pray!" We're in a new place now, in a new state, a new world ptetty much. And he now enjoys praying.

When the alarm goes off, he asks "is that the prayer alarm?" "Yes." And then he begins to pray "Dear, God..." I want my son to have a passion to pray. I want him to have a passion for Jesus, for God. Will it start here?

I have 20 minutes to go until the end of the hour. My son is at Bible study with my wife. I will be praying for him as well as for me

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