In the Colorado Wilderness (redux)

(This is a repost from my old The Harbor blog. This was written during a time of distress and frustration. We went on a family vacation only to have our minivan die on the side of the road in eastern Colorado [which, incidentally looks like Tattoinne.. saw a jawa at Starbucks there]. Now that we're going on our first vacation since this incident, I thought I'd repost it for fun...and hoping it never happens again. Please to enjoy)


When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior Isaiah 42:2-3


These words ring oh so much truer for me now. It’s been a hard couple of days. We were looking forward to some rest, relaxation, fun, and visiting family. And then it happened. Our car died. I mean, it’s beaten up beyond repair. It’s more dead than the career of that kid who played Screech on Saved by the Bell.

Now we’ve been stranded, stuck, in beautiful eastern Colorado. I can see the snow capped mountains in the background. I can see the fir trees turning slightly brown due to lack of water. It’s gorgeous…but not where we wanted to be.

I will admit it, I’m frustrated. This isn’t what I wanted our first family vacation to be like.
These words from the book of Isaiah are words given to the Children of Israel during times of trouble. “When you pass through waters, I will be with you” God tells them. Waters was a way of describing chaos..which I feel like we’re living in right now. And then he says “When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep you over.” Rivers were natural borders between countries and a lot of these rivers were fierce and formable during the rainy season when they were at their peak. When trouble is surrounding us as we pass into a new time in our lives, God says he will be with us. And then he says “When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Basically, to borrow from Battlestar Galatctica, when everthing’s fraked up beyond repair, God will not let us be consumed by it; it won’t take over our lives.

This is supposed to be good news for me, right? “Yes, yes it is” I keep telling myself. “God has a plan and this is part of it” I keep telling myself. And these answers are true and real. I know God is in control, but right now, it feels like everything’s fraked up and not going according to plan.
So this is what I’m doing right now. I’m trusting, I praying and I’m walking forward.

I’m trusting that God will provide. God says that he takes care of us. He will be there. In fact, not a hair can fall from my head without Him knowing or being somehow involved (I spotted a gray hair yesterday…from the trip, I don’t know…but if God’s involved somehow, we’re going to have words). Everything is out of my control. I am at the mercy of others. I can’t have a say right now, because other people will determine what will happen. So I need to trust that God will use these people to get us through this mess we’re in and that it will be a great story to tell later on how great God truly is.

I’m also praying. I’m praying so much that I’ve even set the timer on my cell phone to go off once an hour so I can pray. But part of prayer is also listening. So I’m asking God for help, pleading with him for help, but I’m also listening to his direction and guidance.

And I'm walking forward. This is the toughest part. But I know that God is there. He is speaking, he is active. I remember the verse right before the ones I quoted above where he says “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” I am His. He has summoned me by name. He is mine. I am His. The God of all the universe knows my name and I am His.

I wish I could end on that note. God is here. He answers my prayers. But the answer isn’t always what I want it to be. Right now, it’s “wait.” It s wait.

And so I wait…..

(epilogue--we did finally leave eastern Colorado and made it safely back to Chicago, sans vacation in California. Two years later, we are once again attempting a trip back to California. I might have a blog post or two when I come back. In the mean time, there will be some good guest bloggers on here to keep the blog a goin')

My Deere, John letter

Back in January, I blogged (okay, maybe complained a bit too) about the snow blower. One thing about the snow blower is that it forced me to be a better Christian, to be a better example of Jesus to others. Why? Because the blasted thing really...breathe..breathe...

In short, using the snow blower in plain sight of my kids and of the community around me forced me to make sure I behaved myself and was Christ like even to the blasted...to the snow blower.

And so, summer seems to be upon us. And the lawn needs to be mowed. To tell the truth, I haven't mowed a lawn really since 1993 (It was an electric mower on wet grass...I'll let you do the math on that one).

So why am I once again writing a post on all of this? Because, I'm mowing the lawn with a John Deere mower. Last year when we first moved out here. I mowed the lawn once or twice. Why? Because I just don't don't think to mow it. That, and, well, the first time I tried mowing the grass, it took almost two hours to mow the front yard alone. And so, I kinda stopped doing it.

With spring being sprung and then summer hitting full force, the lawn needs to be mowed. My in-laws were out here over Memorial Day weekend and they helped with yard work. That's when I learned somethings.

1) That I was doing the whole mowing thing all wrong and thus making it harder and more time consuming

2)and that blasted mower is a power motor with two speeds (leisurely pace and Tim Allen's more power fast..cue the grunt).

So, once again I went to mow the lawn. First it didn't start. Then it didn't start. and then it didn't start. My son watched me from a distance. I could see what was going on in his mind "Will daddy blow a gasket again like he did with the snow blower?"

Thank you Jesus, because the thing finally did start, I put it into Tim Allen's more power super speed and did the grunt. I cranked up the tunage and mowed the lawn.

Thank you John Deere for making power mowers!

One year and 20lbs later

It's been a year. I've been attempting this blogging thing for a year. You'd think that the progress I had made at this time last year, I'd be all covered with muscles by now. Or at least that's what I had thought. Last year around this time I was within moments of reaching my weight loss goal. In fact, I surpassed it by May.

And then I gained 30lbs.

Lost 10lbs...then gained some back.

Yeah.

But along the way, I learned much about myself, about what I don't know, and the importance of being healthy regardless of the awesomeness that would have been my biceps.

Last year, around this time, people had noticed my weight loss and how much healthier I was looking. I kept getting asked how I did it. So, I finally decided to write a blog about it. Oh, I thought I was the bees-knees on this one.

And so I wrote my first blog post. I had great dreams about what this blog would be like. And I was wrong. I struggled with what to say, how to say it, how I wold come across. Then I found the blog Stuff Christians Like. Reading it helped me see that I needed to be honest with myself in my blog, explore my own failures as well as my own successes and to look at what all made up being a Spiritual Musclehead.

I was focusing too much on the exercise part, not enough on the rest. Sometimes I look too much at the spiritual and not at the physical nor emotional. But each needs some time. Each needs attention paid to it to be healthy.

And now, a year later, there are 8 official followers (thank you all) and readership from around the world--Thank you to those in Russia, Hungary, China, Germany and US and Canada who read.

But one thing I do stick by, and I'll say it again. There is no quick fix. My secret is a simple 4 step process
1. Hard work
2. Prayer
3. Perseverance
4. Patience

I still have to remind myself of these from time to time.

How's your life going as a Spiritual Musclehead?

Growing up geek

I'm a total sci-fi geek. Sounds weird, I know. I like to lift weights. I like watching football (Da Bears) and I love headbanging to Beastie Boys. But I love me some Star Wars. I love watching Star Trek (TOS, TNG, DS9, Voyager, even Enterprise). When my wife and I first met, we bonded over our love for Sci-fi (She was writing a symphony based on a sci-fi concept). At our home, the DVR is almost always recording something for us from the Syfy channel. For my wife's birthday I bought her the complete series of Firefly. For our Christmas we bought the official release of the original pre-1997 DVD's of Star Wars. We have all 6 on DVD and the first three on VHS. We have almost all the TNG movies on DVD. My wife has the soundtracks for all the Star Wars movies. We love sci-fi.

And I'm realizing that it has come through in my parenting as well. I'm teaching my kids to see things through the eyes of a geek.

My kids both have their own lightsabers. And one of their favorite things to do is to have a lightsaber fight with Dad (and I have my own Mace Windu lightsaber, thank you very much). I've gotten into the habit of saying to my whining and impatient children "patience young padiwan." I've even tried the Jedi mind trick with my son to get him to eat his veggies. Still hasn't worked.

I've realized that my kids have picked up on this. They love watching Star Wars with me. My son has so far brought a lightsaber, R2-D2 and a Luke Skywalker action figure to school for show and tell. His folder for school is an old school Star Wars one. And the other day, my two year-old daughter tried the Jedi mind trick on my wife.

Daughter: Cookie please Mommy.

Wife: No honey, I'm not going to give you a cookie

Daughter: (*waving hand like Obi-Wan Kenobi*) cookie.

Wife: no

Daughter: (*waving hand like Obi-Wan Kenobi*) cookie.

Wife: Jedi mindtricks won't work on me

My daughter walked away pouting.

I'm waiting for the day when I have to explain to them that the Holy Spirit is NOT like the Force from Star Wars.

But I still tell them in the words of Yoda: There is do or do not, there is no try

And when my son tries to haggle with me for how many veggies he eats, I love telling him to eat more and when he complains I say "I've altered the deal, pray I don't alter it again."

Ahh...parenthood.

(Still not going to take tips from Obi-Wan Kenobi though)

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi

One thing I've learned: Kids don't come with an instruction manual. When my son was born, I looked at the doctor and said "Are the instructions in there as well?" Neither he nor my wife found that all too funny. I think I was actually being serious. There's nothing in this world that could have prepared me for being a parent.

I was always told in high school that algebra would be useful when I grew up. Algebra doesn't tell you how to hold your ground when you're son refuses to eat one mandarin orange slice. Algebra never taught me to resist the urge to go all Mad Max and the Thurnderdome on my kids, throwing them in the basement, two will enter, one will leave. And telling them to go to their room until their 18 doesn't work all to well either.

And no matter how many books you find, algebra doesn't prepare you for potty training. Worst than that, it doesn't prepare you to deal with people who are perfect parents and remind you of such as they give you advice after advice after advice of how to raise your kids such as doing potty training. Sorry, but I'm not about to let my daughter run around the house naked to get used to going potty. I really don't want to clean that all up.

What I never could figure out is how come my two kids can be at each others throats one minute--pushing and fighting and arguing--then getting along and being good to each other the next. And then after that, they're way too quiet conspiring to take over the world! No, seriously, I think my son said that and then added that evil scientist laugh (muwhahahahaha) afterward.

I was told that my kids would have different personalities. What I wasn't told was that they would have different personalities but both very similar to mine. My daughter is strong willed, obstinate and cunning--I don't think even duct tape can keep her at bay. My son is silver tongued, can haggle like you wouldn't believe, nice, gentle and can throw a temper tantrum like you wouldn't believe. Yeah, these are my kids.

I've always wanted like a spiritual mentor. Someone who could help me be a good father, one who modles Christ to my kids. One who shows my kids what it means to be a Godly person, a Godly man, a man who loves Jesus. And I work hard on it. And my kids (much like the snow blower) has been teaching me to be more Christlike. Because unlike that blasted snow blower (which has been taken into the John Deere shop for now, thank goodness)my kids can and WILL repeat what I say.

Why can't I have an Obi-wan Kenobi of parenting to come in and teach me the Jedi mind trick that gets my son to eat his veggies and fruit? Why can't I get the help of an Obi-Wan Kenobi who can help me reach out with the force and get my daughter to stop jumping off the couch like it's a high dive at the pool. Of course, Obi-Wan did raise Anikan after all. One of my favorite lines from Star Wars: Attack of the Clones was after flying through Corisant traffic, Obi-Wan and Anikan come to a restaurant. Obi-Wan is addressing the driving skills of his padiwan saying "I fear someday you will be the death of me." Oh, how prophetic. He raised Anikan who became Darth Vader who killed Obi-Wan in the Death Star in Star Wars: A New Hope. Maybe I shouldn't have him for parenting advice after all.

So, but by the grace of God, go I in parenting..Lord help me be Christ to my kids...please..and if you're trying to teach me something.. uncle

A John Deere Letter

I was thinking about writing an open letter to John Deere asking questions I had about some of their snow removal equipment. Yet, it all seemed to boil down to one question--does using your snow removal equipment replace exercise? You know.. pushing that huge things, scrambling after it when the accelerator is hit too hard, slipping in snow and holding on to it as you try to do a hair pin turn with something bigger than a hair pin. Does it count as exercise if you go chasing after the blasted thing when the accelerator gets stuck? Or does it count if you keep trying to dodge the snow that gets blown back in your face?

Though, after thinking about writing this letter, asking the important questions about one of the greatest makers of farm equipment ever (sorry International fans, I'm just saying)I'm not sure I would send something like that. Don't think it'd work.

One thing I do think though--Using that blasted snow blower makes me work on being more Chirstlike. I'm the pastor in a great small town here in SD...living right across the street form the church. I am to be an example of Christ to others. The thought keeps coming across my mind--What Would Jesus Do when blowing Snow. (I was going to do it as an acronym but thought better of it).. My mouth only says things that are pleasing to God.. so I kept my mouth shut while blowing snow.

Please be patient with me, God...I'm trying hard.. but please quit testing me with the snow blower.. maybe that's where I'm getting gray hairs from?