Magical mystery tour of gaurdians of the fridge

I think someone's been guarding my fridge or something. I mean, seriously, I just can't seem to get into it as of late. I mean, I open the fridge but then I don't see what I think I wanted to see or something like that and I shut the door. Then, I just walk away.

When I felt the urge to snack, I'd open the fridge. Not see anything I liked. Then checked the freezer. If I still didn't find anything I liked, I then checked the cupboards. If it turned up zilch back to the fridge and the frightening cycle begins.

Yet, it's almost as if I have some magical mystery guardians or something around the house or something. I'm just not getting past certain points. I just don't get it.

I can almost imagine some gigantic viking named Sven or something standing in my way like the angel did for Balaam. Or Gandalf standing in the way saying "You shall not pass!" Don't know what it is, but it's like I'm just not getting there or something.

And then, when I go to the store, it's like there's some gaurdian there as well, blocking me from buying these sweets or really really really good types of food. And if I do throw something in my cart, it's like woosh and it's out again. I can just imagine some mean looking guy with a sword and sash or something just walking around smacking the bad food from my cart and hand (He wasn't around yesterday when I bought the apple fritters. He and Sven went out for coffee or something I think, but hey, even magical mystery guardians need a coffee break here and there, I'm tough work for them, poor guys). I don't know if I have a name or not for the guy in the supermarket that's been stalking me lately but he doesn't look all too pretty.

Yeah, that's him.

Of course, it could also be the fact that I'm starting to get a hang of this whole points system from Weight Watchers (for men). It could be the fact that I'm starting to figure out how to eat right...or it could be Sven and Mr. Not-so-nice-eyes.

What about you? Do you have some magical mystery guardians??

RPG Blog post +10

The other night, out of no where, I actually had this thought come through my head: I wonder what armor class King David had.

Now, I must admit, I've never really played any Roll Playing Games (RPGs). I tried here and there but apparently sarcasm towards the DM isn't something you want to use if you want your character to stay alive (DM: "You must use the net of capturing to bind the enemy." Me: "Then what, the Sword of cutting to finish him off or the toaster of toasting to make him breakfast?" Yeah, didn't last long in high school...college didn't work either). But I did laugh my head off one day at the mall when I saw a dude wearing a shirt that read "Invisibility Shirt +10"

RPGs take us into another world. A world run by kinds and queens or with family clans fighting to stay alive or to a place where valor, honor and courage still live though still flawed. They are places of visions, of mystery, and a place of rules.

Some time back, I was helping someone look for a Bible who had never had one before. He said he was told to get the book of Luke. He was shocked when I informed him that the Bible had 66 books. After he realized they were short books put into one compilation (You know, like they do with story arcs in X-men), he wanted to know more. I told him about the New Testament which contained stories of Jesus and letters from Paul along with God's assurance of safety found in Revelation. He then asked about the Old Testament. "Well," I said smiling, "that's where all the sex and violence is at." He starred at me blankly and said "In the bible?"

Yep. Sex and violence in the Bible. You have warrior kings, you have men and women who fight hard and viciously (One lady named Jael drove a tent stake through a dude's head. They Ladies also are awesome in this book). You have men who speak in riddles and see visions. One of these men was surrounded by chariots of fire and was taken up in flames.

Now, King David, that dude was great. He was a warrior class character. High armor classification. Huge charisma rating. It was as if everything was +20 for him and he rolled it every time. Slaying a giant with a tiny stone in one turn. An amazing tactician in the battle field. But he was also flawed. And he is very real.

Now, when it comes to Jesus, there is no + anything. He didn't need anything, he was it. He was it all. I always had to roll the dice, but the DM, who knew the journey, who knew what was coming next, acted and did what was needed based upon the journey written.

In the Old Testament, we have the sex and violence and flawed humanity. In the New Testament, we have Jesus, the most powerful, strong, amazing person ever who humbly denied it all. To get to the level of Jesus, we'd have to roll +bajillion, which will never happen. No matter how you roll the dice, it'll never happen. But with him, there's no need to do so. He's taken it all upon himself. Died and is raised to life..and not as a zombie either! But more powerful like when Gandalf came back.

Strength and valor and the Journey are there. They exist. They are real. The greatest Journey you can ever go on requires no dice, no DM but Jesus. He can lead you to an amazing Journey n one could ever make up.

What is your journey?