Get your dent on

Weight is something I've struggled with all my life. Since I was a kid I've been called fat, overweight and, well, some very nasty words as well. I wore size husky in everything. Looking back on those pictures of me as a kid, I wasn't fat at all. I was big. I was tall and big for my age. People thought I was two or three years older than I really was. One teacher thought I was lying to her when I said I was never held back a grade or three.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been trying to put a dent in my weight. In high school, I looked at going into the Navy. No offense to the Navy or the rest of our armed services, but not the best for one's sense of self worth when you're told the only way you'll ever be accepted in life is to be thinner.

In college, I dropped down to my healthiest weight yet. But according to all the charts, I was still considered obese. Of course, according to the charts, to be what they want me to be I'd have to be skin and bones.

In Seminary, I struggled with a lot of school work, etc and gained way too much weight. In 2004, I started to put a dent into it. By 2010, I'd lost 100lbs (or more. When I was at my heaviest, no one had a scale that would weigh me outside of a zoo.) In December of 2010, I was up 15 pounds. In February, I was up 20. In May, I was up 30 and rising.

I decided it was time to put a dent in it again. Step by step. Minute by minute. And today, I've lost 5lbs since I started.

One of the things that's been helpful for me has been encouragement from friends and family. It's also been coming back to listening to or reading God's word. I know, I know, so cliche, but honestly, this blog is called Spiritual Musclehead (or as I like to say, come for the zombies, stay for Jesus).

We're so fearfully and wonderfully made. Our physical health affects our emotional/mental and spiritual health. Our emotional/mental health affects our spiritual and physical health and our spiritual health does the same.

And so I trudge on. Sometimes I really don't want to eat that apple. But with zero points for an apple vs a candy bar, well, I'm gonna be stingy and go for that. I don't always want to take that time to read or to pray but I know it's needed for my own health and journey. Other times, I so look forward to it all. I so look forward to eating something good and healthy (I know, scary , huh?).

It's amazing what God can truly do.

What are you doing to keep healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually?

Early in the morning

For some reason as of late, I've been waking up, pretty much of my own accord, early each morning. For the last two weeks I've woken up usually between 5-6:30 in the morning. At first I was annoyed. Scratch that...very annoyed. I was tired. I needed my rest. If I was going to get beauty rest I needed at least 23 hours a day to sleep. Well, maybe not that much.

But still.

Have you had this? It's that frustrating moment when you wake up, check your cell phone for the time and the want to curse the night because it's way stinking early and you're wide awake. It's at that moment where I pause and wonder "Do I attempt to go back to sleep and most likely toss and turn and finally fall asleep only to have to wake up or just make a pot of coffee?" I've started opting for the coffee.

It's turned out to be a blessing for me. I've started having that quiet time for myself. I've found it easier to focus in my prayers and devotions (though I still think my new ADD meds are helping too). I've also found it easier to go to the gym. In fact, I've been going on a more regular basis since coming out this way.

In fact, the picture above was taken one morning as I was going to the gym. I had woken up early and it was one of the earlier days where I wondered if I should go back to bed or make coffee. I had made coffee, read my Bible, prayed and then left for the gym. As I was getting into the pick-up, I saw this and had to take a picture.

The words from that old hymn came to my mind

Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty! Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee.

What was thought to be a frustration and I was about to even call it a blasted curse, has become helpful.

(Warning: gonna get all spiritual here) Once I stopped fighting my body and listened to it, I think I actually started more so listening to the Holy Spirit moving me to wake up early. Now, if you are waking up a lot in the night, it might be insomnia. And I know I can get fits of insomnia. But I know that right now, God is even using that for his glory to help me draw closer to him and to work on my own health--spiritually, emotionally and physically.

What about you? What is a frustration (or even a curse) that you might ask how God might be able to use it for His glory and to help you grow?

It was going to be the best blog post ever!

I was so excited to have this great blog post last night. I could see it now. I would talk about how great it was that if finally did it. For the first time since the week before Christmas, I got up early, hit the gym and then got to work and was productive. I was thinking of how great it'd be because I'd also been keeping a log of my workouts--you know, how much I benched, how much I did as a curl or lat pull down. I even had downloaded a calorie counter app for my phone. Then I was going to talk about how I finally got into the groove of reading my Bible and praying and journaling. I downloaded the Youversion Bible app from Lifechurch onto my cellphone so I could read scripture anywhere. It was going to be a great blog post.

Then I hit snooze on my cell phone's alarm clock this morning at 6am. Well, in my tiredness, I actually hit the "dismiss" button instead. I woke up around 8. I finally hit the gym not out of wanting to be healthy but because of writer's block. I only breezed through my devotions this morning and only did a short prayer. And that app. Uninstalled it.

So much for the best blog post ever!

I try so hard to make sure that I that read my Bible. And I do an okay job at it. I really do. But I beat myself up when I don't read it enough. And I beat myself up when I don't pray enough. And I beat myself up when I don't journal. And I get frustrated when I don't go to the gym. My pick up stalled on my wife yesterday. I feel bad because I didn't do enough to take care of it so it wouldn't do that (not to mention it was like -15 yesterday...which probably didn't help). In my life, in my prayer life, in my spiritual life, in my emotional health, physical health and spiritual health, I know I need to not beat myself up.

It's good to know I'm not the only one. Two blogs that have been helpful as of late. The first being Living a Reckless Faith which I've been reading off an on now for a little bit. The other one I recently found Fat Girl Fit world.

In my messiness, I'm not alone. We have each other.

Paul said it best in Galatians 6:2 "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ". We're in it together.



Maybe tonight I'll finally hang my punching bag and go at that instead...I can beat that up instead of myself.

Importance of place

I used to always say "If I had more time I'd exercise more" or "if I had more time I'd read my Bible more." And honestly, from time to time, I still do. But the other day, as I for some odd reason woke up to be at the gym by 6:30 am (got there at 7am), I was realizing that I was making time. That was something else someone one time told me. They said, "Well, if you want to do it, make the time." I always responded "I don't have the time to make the time." What that person was saying to me was more to the point of "If it's important to you then you'll find the time."

Think about that for a second--finding the time verses making the time. What is the difference? It's the importance of it.

How important is my health to me? I thought about this as I etched out an hour and a half to catch up on some TV shows that were on the DVR. I was willing to set aside time to watch some TV shows. Why can't I be willing to etch out time to exercise? Or more importantly, why can't I etch out time to spend it with God.

I decided to look at what was important to me. How important was my health to me? Being at over 400lbs six years ago, it was very important to me. After some time I realized that if setting aside time to be healthy was important to me, then how much more important should spending time with God be to me?

Now here's the thing--there's no magic bullet. There's no special plan or trick. It boils down to a shear act of will. Not an act of will to find time or make time, but an act of will to make it important. Where does spending time with God, with praying, with reading, with working on your own spiritual walk, place as importance to you? If it's not where you think it should be, then work on making it important. When it becomes important then it becomes a priority to make sure you place it first on your to-do list for that day, week, month.

Same thing with health. Do you want to be healthy? How important is that to you? There's no easy answer, there's no magic trick, there's nothing but a shear act of will to make it important. I'm not saying that you can't use programs that are out there, some are very helpful.

In the end, it is a matter of a thought change. How you think of things matters in how you place them in importance of what you do.

Now here comes the easy answer--Pray. Pray that God helps you with making Him important in your life. Pray that God helps you being healthy in your life--physically, emotionally and physically. And then allow God to work in your life. If you're not a believer, try it out anyway and see what happens. But allow God to work if you ask Him for His help.